James The Great.

I think I’m actually marching to that commencement music this March. Or maybe not- but hopefully, really crossings my fingers here, I do... because I would go out on a limb just to don that black damn toga - even if that means fighting my greatest nemesis of all; myself.

Four years ago, I joined the bandwagon of enrolling nursing as a college degree for all the wrong reasons. Sure, there was the thought of earning dollars involved. But my naïvite was so humongous back then that the sole reason why I chose nursing, aside from looking awesome in white, is to go to the States, change my citizenship, and be on Survivor. Top that.

Geez who knows what would happen to that show after two more seasons? By the time I’m going to be there, if reality and destiny even permits, production would have been already halted and everything I have worked so hard for at Nursing school would have proven to be futile.

Oh my god James, like, you have just shrunk your brains, or what?

And so I ask myself, again, “James, where do you see yourself in the next five years?” Shudder, right? I can hear the crickets chirping. “Well, I think, uhm, uhm”. You get the point. Go James, go. Make up something witty, clever or funny as always because that’s what you’re good at. Not. Somehow, when it comes to serious matters such as the temperature of Rhum being served and my life in possible ruins, I find myself lost in the nothingness of what supposed to be is common sense.

How feasible would it be If I just knock myself over, have amnesia, and forget who I really am? At least I wouldn’t have to worry anymore about my constant procrastination and the lack of action over my intentions. I’m sure I’d make good grades if I weren’t myself. I’m also certain all the clutters in my bedroom or my head would be all gone. And I’m vey positive I would be the assertive person I always wanted to be, graduate this March, and just rock.

No more daydreaming, no more boozing, and no more bitching about how I couldn’t be my own Kurt Cobain in this lifetime. How awesome is that? Uh, just follow the drift. I mean, it would probably transform me into a square and boring person but right now, I am not in a position to complain. I just have to face it. And grow up.

For that I would like to take this opportunity to air out my feelings.

Dear Mom and Dad, I’m really sorry for being such a mess. I promise to study my brains out these finals even if it means morphing myself into some kind of zombie. And James, you know what you ought to do. I don’t even have to tell you what it is. Or I’m just going to have to whack you in the head when you turn wacko every minute or so. So help me God.

Call Me An Ass, A Jerk, Whatever.

“What am I to you?”

“friends.”

“friends lang?”

“uh… yeah.”

And boy did I know I was in trouble. Or she was. It depends on how you see it. I don’t know. Besides if I was the villain in her story, I was in every right, the hero in mine.

Her friends could have killed me right there and then if they knew I broke their friend’s heart which would just do nothing but affirm the fact that, indeed, I was the victim.

We’ll what’s a poor boy got do? I didn’t want to lead her on. I didn’t have any feelings towards her of any kind. I just, like any douchebag of a guy, copied notes from her, occasionally flirted (but only when necessary). That’s just pretty much it. And some assignments.

I had to do what I got to do.

I entertained her didn’t I?

Call me an ass, a jerk, whatever.

It is undeniable she enjoyed my company.

And I was still doing her a favor by not leading her on.
I can’t fake love you know.

And for that my friend, I deserve a medal of honor.

I mean, in what scenario would she have thought that I was harboring some sort of affection? Exactly.

Again, call me an ass, a jerk, whatever.

I just want to make it public, for future disclaimer purposes, that if I do like you, being the most blunt and person that I am, I would have told you the moment that we met… or when I finally muster any guts, which is like… depends on the urgency. Most of the time, it depends on the need.

And If I had known you for the longest time now, and I still I haven’t told you anything, chances are… you know what your chances are or at least you get the point.

God.

So just get over it. And I’m sorry.

“Laagan kaayo ka dong. Pag-uli sa inyo oi. Pagbuhat inyo IS.”

We actually chanced upon each other one night. And by the tone she used on me, I guess I shouldn’t get my guards down even after two years. I could actually die from crime of passion, you know.

And dude that is just damn epic. ;-)

Nia

Remember when MYX could actually pass as cool? Well, me neither, since that has never transpired. Never did. Never will. Another thing that will never happen, not in this universe nor in any alternate universe for that matter is for people to become Nia. I was actually considering Jehna for that one, but that's another story. But anyhow, I dare ask, Why can't everyone be more like Nia; someone who actually has substance, writes VERY well and passionate at what she does? Heck she can cut her toenails and still be passionate about it. I made that one up- but you get the point. It doesn't hurt either she has this uncanny resemblance to Maricar. Uh uh, no siree. There is no way looking like someone from those infamous videos be a problem. There isn't even any problem at all. But what has this world had come into? We suddenly have pasang-awas feeling a great deal of self-importance sprouting like mushrooms on pissed dead woods. And all this poor guy could ever do is shudder in fear at the horrendous sight. Mushrooms are never much of a view, is it? If you imagine at the thought alone, then try seeing it firsthand. So why can't people be more like Nia? You know why.

Sorry

Normally, I wouldn't do this, but I would also ask apology to everyone, in one way or another, I have directly or indirectly alienated. I don't have to present a list, do I? But I'm going to own up to what I did, said or perhaps wrote about you people. I'm not going to defend myself. I wronged you and I'm sorry. To myself, dude, I'm sorry for being the person that I am. It's not going to be all fun ride I tell you. I always have this habit of destroying myself. And I am bound to be hated. I will always be saying things other people wish they could. And I'd be always, like, "well shit happens". But just because I'm always spiraling down, doesn't mean I like it. Maybe I do, but sometimes, I wish it were different. Nah. Okay, maybe I don't at times. Hey it's not like I can do anything about it. Again, sorry, I can. Yeah I CAN. But you do know I'm such a sloth and Satan's spawn right? God did I just argue with myself?Hahaha. If I were to be born again into this world, I'd pick to be myself in a heartbeat. Or not. But bottomline is, Im sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I don't say it that often, but when I do, I really mean it.

Mushy Heaven

One picture. One friggin' picture. That's all it takes… and I'm completely smitten all over again. And I'm sent to mushy heaven again. And again. And again. And I'm like, fuck, I hate this feeling. This isn't me at all. I'm hardcore; I'm sex. drugs. violence. I'm not rainbows, chocolates and horses unicorns. Yet I turn into one at the mere sight of… ugh. Shit. I hate this. But just how all that went awry. The last time I checked we were doing well. And I was about to study horses, if not, learning to ride one. Were you mugged or harassed by some people? By which, I mean monsters I consider as friends. I swear I'd consider them as just monsters now. So am I smelling sabotage here? Jed, dude, do you know how hard it is to find anyone who has substance? Shit you. And this goes to everyone. Consider yourselves warned. God I can't believe I'm back to my old ways again.

Like Magic

Below is my cheerdance write-up for the Crusader Intramurals issue. I just feel the need to post it since it's going to be butchered up anyway by the editorial board... It's my baby and i'm so protective of it, it has to see the light of the day raw, honest and without pretensions. Heck, it's so good it's almost orgasmic.

After amassing over hundreds of crowds eager to see some body maneuvering prowess, it's easy to see why this year’s cheerdance competition is deemed as the most anticipated event of the intramurals season. But then, since when did the cheerdance not become the most awaited? Simply put, it is already ingrained in the mindset of every Atenean that cheerdance is synonymous Intramurals. So healthy, their relationship that it starts to feel one can’t live without the other. Imagine an intramurals without cheerdance. Hmm. You get the point.

The premise is simple. Every year the clock stops, the stars align and the entire Xavier universe gather around the hallowed halls of the gymnasium to see which college has what it takes to be hailed as the best in cheering and dancing. Sounds simple huh? Wrong.

See, it is taken a general rule of thumb here that simple is the most loathed word and the more complex the entire routine is, the better. The team that do good, keep their act together, and wow the audience with best routines win.

Here is the rundown of what really happened last 26th of July

SOE-
The Phoenix clad in blue and white opened the competition… who could ever forget them? Wait. Uhm. Right. They opened the competition. One thing the Educs should realize is that they’re almost there but they are not just getting there yet. Sure it’s one thing to give a good performance; it’s another to be pitted with the giants. It’s just a matter of bad luck that even if they gave a good and clean performance the others did as well. Seryahakune on Youtube could only say “go educ… xD”

Agriculture-
The biggest surprise of the evening came in green and looking almost like a bunch of Peter Pans. The grabbed the third spot. “nice, biggest surprise gyud ang aggies, deserved the spot..” opines 098march.. Although not as clean (the performance) as every bullrider would hope for, they had their moment when they did that synchronized tumbling. And that chubby kid in the center, don’t forget! It has been six years since the Aggies made waves, and this year, they rightfully have gotten what they deserved.

CIT-
If cheerdance has taught us something about the Knights it has to be their sheer athleticism. One cannot deny the fact that their cheerleaders had it going for them in terms of potential. 19jessa89 writes “sUper tumblinG!!!!bow!!! ”. A little tweaking here, a little guidance there and a power costume to boot, it’ll be no time when CIT could drop the ball against the giants. There is still hope for CIT. And great potential, if we may add.

Artscies –
There were many reasons to get excited about the Tiger’s performance. For one, they have always been dependable in delivering great goods… but if we had to pick one, it would have to be the cheerleaders. They were so great at what they do, dancing, doing stunts and all and yet the girls still manage to look cute with oozing hint of sexy after every move. It felt like Sailormoon. Even though, they didn’t land a spot in the top three, that doesn’t make them any less good as cheerleaders. And sexy.

Engineering –
Further proof that the Engineering almost gave the SBM a run for their money: geo on Youtube writes “SBM ko pro mas ganahan ko sa performance sa Engineering!.. ”. They won 2nd. Were they good? Yes. But were they good enough to get the top spot once again like they did last year? The judges obviously said no. Or they could have topped themselves last year, but the SBM topped them more. If it’s any consolation, they were really snappy. And besides, 2nd place is not too shabby either.


Nursing
Come to think of it, the Pythons actually had a chance of winning… if it was America’s Best Dance Crew. “i agree hiphop ra kau sa last part, dli na xa cheerdance. daog unta mo sa hiphop competition... sayang nursing.” adds graXa23. Costume-wise, the pythons looked the part, if not, the best amongst everyone. After the performance, people actually started rooting for them. They were the cutest hiphop oddball that sashayed the court. They even brought the house down. They just lacked stunts. Another one or two tricks would have made a difference.


SBM
In a highly foreseen move, the SBM, donning that perennial yellow, delivered once again enough chutzpah and goods to secure this year’s crown. As everyone can recall, they came in second last year. This time, they have succeeded. “Wala gyud nag-expect. Basta sa amo lang limpyo, walay sayop… bonus na ni ni God sa amo” adds their cheercaptain, with tears were flowing from here eyes. Jenangel913 on youtube sums up the performance as, “limpyo kaau ang ambak, dungan jud. Payts! ;)” Enough said.

There are many things we don’t understand about cheerdance (like, for instance how our bets always don’t get the top spot). However, there is one thing we absolutely, totally understand without question.

When 7 teams perform and represent each college after gruesome weeks of preparation and the entire population stop, watch in awe and admiration, and get together like a solid community (never mind those inflated you-know-what thrown around the gym)… that is when something truly magical happens.

Like Magic. Viva el Cheerdance! Until next year. ;-)

photo credit: Pamela Lico
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The Midterm Effect

Fcuk. I knew this was coming… but I kinda hoped it hadn’t because it sucks. Bigtime.

I don’t even have to reveal my QPI for people to know how my existence is hanging by a thread lately. Hint: I need to pull a miracle in order to survive the ordeals of nursing education. Tricks won't do this time.

I’ve got this question about my class standing and certainly I already had the answer. Particularly if the question is, “am I in BIG trouble?”.

I don’t have to answer that, do I?

too late

In the true i-wished-i-acted-on-it-earlier tradition, I realize that sometimes, by the time I get serious, it’s already too late.

In a word, midterms.

In another related word, college.

Heck I even get the weirdest feeling the next word would be life.

Square Off

Like what I posted on facebook, when Jedyl started talking, i immediatedly rooted for ADDU. haha. Wierd.

Let it be known to the world that, of course, i'm biased to my tita Liz mainly because she's my tita and she's downright cool and she doesn't try too hard to become or sound like an intellectual because she is and always will be the epitome of geekazoid with a hint of street cred. Same goes for her nephew. Duhr.

Let it also be known I abhor that with the exception of myself, I get irritated by stupid people who actually had the means to push their IQs above sea level and opted no to. Shame on you, you guys.

Shame on you.

Same goes to all the fakers out there who obviously try too hard to sound good when they won't, not ever, and not in this lifetime. Read just because you have that American twang or god-knows-what accent you're using doesn't make you brilliant. The more you try too hard to impress, the harder you fall flat on your face.

See it could be defense mechanism you're using but the the fucking truth is, it ain't working.

Simply put, you could fool fifth graders but not this boy. And my tita.

Raindrops keep falling on my head

You have got to be kidding me. It’s not raining hard right now. Because I’m pretty sure the sun shone on that window a minute ago. I mean, why would it rain in the middle of the day? This isn’t a creepy pacific island! And I haven’t gotten any memo that CDO is the new Lost. Or have I? Nah, I went to “Sobriety” and I haven’t had a drink for ages now.

What has happened to the weather people? Don't tell me Polar bears tops the most likely to show up soon list

We will be welcoming the start of the new school year and what better way to celebrate the opening with a couple drinks with some friends. It’ll be crappy shit if it’s going rain then.

So why can’t we be like Norway?... The land of the midnight sun. I don’t think it rains there when sun does overtime 24/7 in the cold Scandinavian skies. I'm wrong here but let's just all think I'm not.

What I’m saying is I hope it won’t rain later. So rain please don’t. Thou shall not dare rain on my parade.

Or could you at least send me an early notice.