Loser Dogs.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Survivor Gabon is that, aside from the fact that Corrine, Marcus, Charlie and Randy are vile and bitter ugly jury, Corrine is still ugly no matter what. She can put on the thickest makeup and she will still look like hell. And I’m not being superficial.

I won’t even talk about her being-24-and-looking-like-39.

What I would like to point out is that her speech to my Sugar was the most inappropriate thing that could have come out from that mutant of a person. She’s not Ivy League-bred for Chrissakes. Nor does she have natural boobs. And she considers herself educated, please!

This led me to formulate a theory.

Corrine, just like some people I know- people who try to put other people down to make themselves feel better are actually just insecure. And just like Corrine who came in 7th, meaning not 1st (obviously)… then what does that make them? What’s that word again? Uh loser, right? Losers.

It didn't suck.

See? It didn’t suck. Survivor, the CBS version, would never suck. Never. They have all the budget in the world. And they don’t have a Neil Gumban to ruin the show.

So the other night, I had 80 minutes of non-stop TVgasm. God the premier was hellraisingly good. I wouldn’t be blogging about it if it wasn’t. It was just so damn funny. Where’d they get the castaways anyway? The Olympian couldn’t even climb up the hill. The doctor had a dick slip. On High Definition. And a gay lawyer just fell head over heels for him… which is as of this moment, I bet is probably rewinding the wardrobe malfunction scene over and over again.

Gabon has got to be the funniest season ever.

Not that bad.

I've, in a weird little way, uncomfortably befriended the enemy. Worse is, I’ve come to grow a little respect for that guy. Krigi’s not that bad- just a simple case of acting out. Anyhow, he handled his elimination better than I did and that spells respect from me. Heck, it’s been months now and I’m still not over it. Something must be really wrong with me. Besides, we now have a common enemy; and that’s the fat dude from Survivor, Neil Gumban. We are gonna fucking kill him.

Talking about Survivor, I actually chanced upon the premier. Ok, I didn’t just chanced upon it. I did watch it on purpose… all because I thought I wanted to do some bashing after. It turned out I’ve realized after that even if the show may suffer in comparison with the US version given the fact that it’s THE US version compared to a GMA production, it’s not that bad. Think budget. My friend Paulo even thought the show had poor editing and poor cinematography. Uh well, yeah, maybe. All I really cared for was the all important buffs! Where are those freaking buffs?

But the shows got some charm going on-in the person of Patani. She alone could save the show. What the show lacks in personality (only 4 castaways has it), it makes up with the inclusion of the interesting yaya from Cebu.

Other than the slow pacing, and the cutting of challenges making it, in Paulo’s words, “uneventful and anticlimactic”, I couldn’t think of any reason why the show sucks. Wait, I’m not in it. It does suck.

But biases aside, the show is decent enough for people to watch… Just not that good enough for the fans but, really, not that bad. I’m serious.

TVgasms

I actually thought 90210 was good- fucking good to the point that i was already scaring myself. Good god. I can’t believe I watch those kind of shows! But… uh yeah. I watched. And I think it rocked. It’s the best new show this season. I think it’s the only new show this season. Not that the “new” factor really mattered, ok it did, but that doesn’t change the fact that the show was actually freakingly good and that it’s a spinoff of Beverly Hills and that the outrageously hot-for-her-age Jennie Garth is reprising her role, and that Shannen Doherty is also back on doing fictitious character and not reality tv… Note in mind: watch it.

But when it comes to Survivor Gabon, I don’t even have to watch it to know that it’s definitely going to be awesome. It’s my fucking favorite show. Of course it’s going to be great- no matter what the outcome is. And they’re now on HiDef meaning, with the exception of the castaways, everything would be stunning to look at. But other than the people on the show looking worse than ever or Jeff Probst's aging, all fans are going to have TVgasms of sorts. Good god. Mark Burnett is a sheer genius. I can’t wait for the 25^th!

Just don’t watch Survivor Philippines. Trust me it’s going to be dragging. And with GMAs track record, the local version is going to suck. Think Pinoy Flop, er, I mean Idol. I could be just sourgraping. But it's definitely going to suck.