Jade wants candy

The truth is Jade totally wants me. Uh not subtle. Why did she (and Leanne) have complain a lot about how I became such a chick magnet of some sort… and even how my supposedly two minutes with Avril turned to ten? I mean, those stuffs didn’t even have to concern her. Read: Possessive Psycho.

This got me worried in a platonic way (of course). The possibility of turning this little crush of hers into an obsession is so great; this could lead to the untimely demise of her normal brain functioning. If only she could muster the guts to tell it my straight to my face, she would never have to blurt out hints bitterness towards me. It just gets more and more obvious all the time. I’m also starting to suspect that she was the one bugging me on my other phone.

I am just concerned. Really concerned. Really.

To James and Eliza

The Ozzy blindside episode of Survivor is now by far the best this season and it’s all because the narcissistic, arrogant, self-absorbed and so-full-of-himself Ozzy Lusth got the boot. Booyah… which lead to James thinking he’s no longer the dumbest ever in Survivor history.

UH Yes James, you’re still the dumbest Survivor ever. Don’t you ever forget that. How on earth did you get the idea? Thou shall not compare your experience with Ozzy because yours was a case of stupidity, not conceit.

And Eliza, didn’t it ever occur to you that, now, less is more. Cue in Bardem. You knew that was going to happen. Your reaction looked exaggerated... but I still like you though. Forgiven.

VanessaXXX

You might think that the two species that passed this year’s Medical-Surgical Nursing were the boring nerds and those that, well, cheated their way through the whole semester, but it’s not that quite simple: in profiling this semester’s survivors, I realized that, aside from the people who can both fit in as nerds and cheaters, there were also people who, may never in a million years, would look like someone who could pass kindergarten but managed to pull through. Living proof is VanessaXXX (note: not her real name).

Sure, this girl looked like someone who came out straight from porn that could barely spell, say, any hard word, but in the end, when the likes of Judith Lavictoria and Peter Naval flunked, she proved everyone me wrong. She’s not that as dumb as she looked after all. She passed… surprising guys like me who thought she had a very promising future in porn

The moral: never judge a girl by her looks curves alone. Sometimes, the brain comes in sexy packages.

Pout, pout baby

It wasn’t until yesterday that I watched American Idol’s results show. I missed it the other day. On purpose… which is weird since I usually end up watching it anyway, blaming the lack of quality television, by which I mean that David Tutera guy being himself. So creepy. I mean, why can’t Travel and Living have Globe Trekker or Lonely Planet running when I want them to.

So our very own Ramy finally got the boot. It was sooner than what I have hoped for. But her elimination was a no-brainer. Not that she gave a bad performance but it wasn’t stellar either. The judges going easy on Ramy, caring less about a mediocre performance was a sign. It was their subtle way of saying, you’ve got to go. So much for being the first Asian-American Idol, huh?

Best assessment ever

It’s that time again… time to reflect on all my accomplishments of the last semester. Unfortunately, what accomplishments I can lay claim to generally involve… wait, I don’t have any accomplishments this past 5 months. Or am I just being too hard on myself? Well this isn’t the first time.

It’s official. I failed Medical Surgical Nursing. Umm, yeah, that happened. Now, moving on…

OK, fine… since I’m getting weird stares and all, I just want to say that, even if I’m all smiles (according to leanne) and had inappropriate affect (according to ma’am Dablo), I am affected just like everyone else who failed (well, maybe with the exception of Jai2x). I may not match their intensity, the crumbling on the floor and weeping kind of stuffs but that doesn’t mean I’m not affected. I am. I really am. I’m just not over-the-top. It’s not like I expected to pass considering everything that I secretly went through, my complacency and my preoccupations with what people refer to as useless informations. Besides, I already had the gutfeel ever since I came back from the yearend break. I already knew. I assessed. And in my entire nursing life, that was the only assessment I was sure of. Sadly, it turned out right.

One BIG mess

Sometimes we want to do things for the wrong reasons. Case in point: why I want to transfer to another school. Somehow, after so many months, I realized that I have not fully recovered from the emotional trauma I got from Ma’am Tecson. A certain part of me still believes that she’s the devil packed in a body of a cute and chubby Chinese cherub. Funny, because of all the reasons I’ve came up with, this topped the list. Way to go bitch. Thanks for destroying my self-esteem.

But anyhoo, this is the rundown…

I don’t want to be stared at like the word LOSER is written all over my forehead. I don’t want to be silently judged or get pity stares from my Clinical Instructors. I highly revere Ma’am Alasagas and Ma’am Quilang so much that I don’t want them to see me as some letdown. Maybe I am stupid. I can accept that. Also the thought of me sitting with the audience while my batchmates don that black toga will just reaffirm that. Not that I really cared about what they think because I know my capacity. I know I’m smart. Heck, I’m smarter than… ok, too much. I don’t have to validate myself. I know my entrance exam scores. I am not mentally-challenged. Academically- uninclined, perhaps, but definitely not DUMB.

So for now it looks like I’ll be spending quite sometime in school. Major bummer (read: I have other plans.) But gee, I guess there’s no use in blaming myself now. My life’s a one great mess. But unlike Pollock, mine doesn’t sell millions. Failure will never be a selling point.

P.S.

If this helps, there isn’t anyone on our college who is as pop culture savvy as me. I know a lot. But in the end, does knowing who Jackson Pollock and the mess he made matter? Like I’ll get an A for that.

Rub it in

Screw all that “maybe-God-has-other-plans” texts. It doesn’t help. That F mark would still be a friggin’ F after a million texts. Truth be told, most of the time, those kind have all but one aim; to rub it on your face that you failed MedSurg. Then again, there are people who love life, spew rainbows and stuffs and are just downright genuine.

But then there are people who are blinding-flash-of-the-obvious fakers who suddenly asks “if I already knew?”. I mean, like, God, I may be “academically uninclined” but I’m not that stupid enough not to know that I failed. She evidently was rubbing it. So I had just to rub back with “What? About the show? We’ll start taping soon and the spiels are now almost ready… Yeah, I know. I failed. Congrats to you.”. And so I rubbed back by saying that this stupid guy could be
hosting a new local show soon. Backoff.

So into Ramy

There is something about that Ramiele Malubay that I find it hard to decide whether I should be triggering my latent sex toy fetish or sense of national pride. But should I even care? Sure, Ramy is cute (in size) and pretty but the girl’s got talent. She could win. She could beat Carly, Kristy, Kady and Brooke. Or not. Hey, a guy can hope. This could be the year of the Pinoys in AI, considering how we fared in the auditions (cue in Renaldo Lapuz). Just watch the show so you won’t miss out on all the fun.

Get over it

Think of grades, and the usual set of words come to mind, from “Boy, am I in big trouble” to the “Fuck, what have I done” cussing. (Pardon, that’s just my vocabulary) But what do those sentences suggest really? In my case, those words are synonymous with F and some Ds. But am I complaining? Hell, no. Usually, I get mad (at myself) then swear to change (at myself again).Besides, I knew I was going to fail. And that I deserved every bit of it. I knew. I assessed.

So can you just imagine my utter disgust to people who couldn’t get over their low marks on a certain evaluation? You failed. We get it. So can we just move on now?... Also, I don’t have to tell you that moving on means no retaliation to those that evaluated you low, do I? That is so not classy. And what would that tell us about you?

To the little whiny bitch I love

How is it remotely possible that half of the 20 castaways of Survivor Micronesia looked nothing like, well, castaways? They certainly look typical, average and, if anything, fans. But then, that is the premise of the show. This season, fans are pitted against favorites from previous seasons. So, I’m thinking, if ever, by any chance, I would be on the show, am I just going to register the way the fans did on tv? Typical. Average. Fan. Boohoo! How would you feel? You loved the show since day one, wanted to be a castaway your whole life but ended up looking no more than just a fan. Seriously?

So for this season, I would be rooting for the fans. Eliza, no matter how I heart you or despite how Yau man is such an inspiration and regardless how Cirie brings sunshine to my life, I would still be backing up my fellow fans. Even though it pains me so much to be not behind you, I could just not leave them. I must support my people. I’m so sorry.

P.S. I saw you fell and hit your head. And where the hell is Peih Gee?