Fingerbang

Somehow, I found the thought of Paris getting fingerbanged in a cab hot.

I also believe that the Dawson’s creek pilot was, quoting Katie’s Joey here, orgasmic. And the entire first season was a series of multiples. It kept on coming and coming if that was sex, my penis would have had a hard time recovering. It was just fucking clever. The Pacey-on-the-verge-of-manhood-and-hooking-up-with-his-teacher story arc was the bomb.

So uh yeah, I watched that teen soap when I was 11. Relived it when I was 19.

Just feeling nostalgic.

Also I hooked up with a teacher. In my dreams. Haha.

But if there’s one thing I don’t want to happen ever again is failing MS. For the 2nd frigging time.

But uh yeah, I failed the midterms. And I don’t have anyone to blame but myself. Believe me; the feeling is nowhere near orgasmic.

Fingerbanging Paris in a cab may seem hot, but fingerbanging my future sucks. Besides, my future’s not Paris. Or her look-a-like. Or even a teacher.

Loser Dogs.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Survivor Gabon is that, aside from the fact that Corrine, Marcus, Charlie and Randy are vile and bitter ugly jury, Corrine is still ugly no matter what. She can put on the thickest makeup and she will still look like hell. And I’m not being superficial.

I won’t even talk about her being-24-and-looking-like-39.

What I would like to point out is that her speech to my Sugar was the most inappropriate thing that could have come out from that mutant of a person. She’s not Ivy League-bred for Chrissakes. Nor does she have natural boobs. And she considers herself educated, please!

This led me to formulate a theory.

Corrine, just like some people I know- people who try to put other people down to make themselves feel better are actually just insecure. And just like Corrine who came in 7th, meaning not 1st (obviously)… then what does that make them? What’s that word again? Uh loser, right? Losers.

thank u (go figure)

Allow me to be gibberish because that’s how things are lately; an incomprehensible syntax error.

I mean, I just don’t get it. Why all these lying, backdooring and sabotaging? Am I that stupid? Do I really look like a moron? I failed MedSurg last year but that doesn’t make me Dumb and Dumber. Heck, they don’t need a Dumberer for God’s sake.

Let me just start by saying I see a rat when I smell one. So that lie, that lame excuse and all, was unnecessary. I would have preferred to have taken the truth straight because aside from the fact that it really didn’t matter, I just don’t like that kind of stuff. That’s just plain pussy. Besides, I didn’t give a flying fuck a about it.

And the sabotage or at least the attempt? I would have raised a finger but that would make the culprit happy. So to all dem haters out there; Thank You! I didn’t know I made such an impact.

This is not a joke. If you find yourself laughing and thinking it couldn’t be you I’m talking about, well THINK AGAIN. I take pride for being such a faker. So allow me to be gibberish because until now, I couldn’t understand why some people had to do it- just like having Ron Howard on Angels and Demons when the The Vinci Code sucked. But that’s another story.

Again, thank you.

Dear Mr. Crusader.

Dear Mr. Crusader

I blog.

That counts as writing, right? So anyway, yeah, blinding flash of the obvious here, I am applying for any vacancies in the school paper. Truth is, I was eyeing the position of a maintenance guy but since you weren’t looking for any, a feature writer would do just fine.

I’m a 3^rd year nursing student who thinks he can write. Yes, I think I can. Don’t burst my bubble. If you think I can’t and you can’t suck that in, you can tell that to my… uh, fans; people who read my writings. There are 2 of them. They’re into pulverizing things, I forgot to tell you.

Did I mention I blog? Right. Well, that’s the only experience I had for the past 4 years. I was an associate editor at our school paper back in high school but I didn’t really know what being an associate editor meant. I just wrote stuffs that our small school cared to publish.

If you’re looking for a reference, I have none. But Tals Diaz and I are friends. On facebook. She’s one of the best writers broadsheet could ever have. Few days ago, she wrote something on my wall, not that mattered, but, yeah, we communicate. Here’s an excerpt of one of her messages: “Hey, actually I think you write pretty well! Do you want to rant about your experience the best way possible- by writing an article fo 2BU? They're looking for new writers to add to their pool. If it's more "Super" than 2BU, I'll try to stick it in Super. I think it's a cool story, and it may just be your first break in the fulfilling yet not quite financially rewarding path of writing. That's how everyone starts anyway, contributing for 2bu!”

I can never be Jehna Paigan, a Gino de la Paz, or a Tals Diaz, but I can be me. I have my own style. I have my own attack when it comes to writing. I’m fun, a little pricky, but fun nonetheless. I think. I am very vulgar as much as I am conservative. Nobody believes that. And I am very opinionated. That, I’d like to believe.

I’m sure I’m going to be a great addition to your bevy of writers. There isn’t just enough representation of stupid people in the publication that it actually starts to feel a little unfair. I mean, where have all the stupid people gone? We’re, like, gazillions. I tell you, it would be great for your image that you hire me. Can you imagine the market you’re going to reach when you get me as one of your wordsmiths? I repeat, we’re gazillions.

So anyway, if you liked the sales pitch, text me. You have my digits. And if it’s going to be a NO, don’t even bother.

I just love to write. Period.

Cheerios,

James

batch 01 should all hate Pebbo

Truth is, I really thought he was going to lead a boring life, maybe do broadsheet or become a surgeon. Boy was I wrong. He’s now opening a store at Robinsons, making waves in Iloilo, and interacting with bigwigs and famous people from the “industry”…And I thought I was already cool just because Tals and I are communicating! sometimes. If there’s one thing I hate about being friends with Paulo, aside from him-making-it-until-the-final-casting-when-I-was-the-die-hard-fan, it’s the feeling that I’m a some kinda loser slacker dude who’s been left behind.

Everyone from SPED actually have great futures ahead of them. I think. And I don’t! Ken S., if you’re reading this, dude, your prediction didn’t come true. Thanks a lot dude. Thanks a lot. I mean, Paulo has got all these options. That was his problem. In my case, the lack thereof is. Where in world is justice? Well Paulo did offer me to become a human hanger of some sort. I’m not sure if he was serious… bet he only said it because we’ve been friends since kindergarten and I’m going through shit. Great, I’m officially now a charity case. And if Maricel and Marsha did commend my sinister, evil look that, according to them, would look good on the "runway". They said it partly because I do look evil (and I like that) and mostly because I’m their friend. That’s all there is to it… That is, if Paulo didn’t make the whole story up. My issue. I’m sure Paulo wouldn’t lie about it, but still, I won’t completely buy it until Maricel and Marsha say it to my face. And besides, that was patronizing.

…And too convenient don't ya think? Hmmm.

He didn’t tell me that he told Neil Gumban he was expecting me to be one of the qualifiers until recently. He implied that I was still emotionally fragile to know about it. Which reminds me, Pau, If you’re reading this, we have to still have to talk about you-dropping-my-name-at-the-auditions. And for the record, I’m no longer bitter. I’m just want to kill Neil Gumban. I’m building an army against him. Anyone? Feel free to join. I’m no longer bitter. Heck, I’m not even whining that I can’t have Leighton Meester for a girlfriend. I’m more of an Emanuelle Chriqui guy. It’s actually Paulo who’s been whining about that. I just hate Neil Gumban that’s all. And Pau, right on, dude. Right on.

End of contract is to end of Tecson

I’m finally done with work. Finally. Finally! Hated it anyway- well, as much as I liked it. And it wasn’t the most fulfilling job in the world. I’m sorry, I know that other people would find it fulfilling and I’m sure there lives a certain kind of strata that would like it. But not me.

Now that it's, I’ve never been happier since… I can’t remember. Basta. I’ve never been happier. I no longer have to deal with the stock clerk’s constant mood swings. And that’s like every minute or two. God I know she’s bitter about life and all but she doesn’t have to take that out on us. Totally dragging.

Or with the fag manager. Just to set things clear; this is not gay bashing. This is just a bash on people who happen to be gays. My manager is the reason why I haven’t been able to spend more time with my grandfather. My grandfather is now dead. Phuket! And I’m still hurting over the fact that he’s gone. Well karma’s a big bad bitch. I’m sure my manager would have to deal with that bitch sooner or later. And if this makes me feel better, I just want to broadcast to the world that my manager is still in the closet and his boyfriend’s name is Jeff. Oops, sorry. That just came out. Everyone knows about it anyway. Damn obvious. And the fag boss from manila. I just didn’t like him. Not even worth my time.

The area sales manager from Cebu, thank god I no longer have to see his philandering face. He had sex with Mae who’s known for having been all over town, has an STD (*citation needed) and who recently had an abortion days before his official visit. As if the whole Giordano staff didn’t know about the sex thing. God bless their immoral souls.

So those were the people I had to deal with. It just makes me miss Ma’am Tecson more. Or maybe not.

It didn't suck.

See? It didn’t suck. Survivor, the CBS version, would never suck. Never. They have all the budget in the world. And they don’t have a Neil Gumban to ruin the show.

So the other night, I had 80 minutes of non-stop TVgasm. God the premier was hellraisingly good. I wouldn’t be blogging about it if it wasn’t. It was just so damn funny. Where’d they get the castaways anyway? The Olympian couldn’t even climb up the hill. The doctor had a dick slip. On High Definition. And a gay lawyer just fell head over heels for him… which is as of this moment, I bet is probably rewinding the wardrobe malfunction scene over and over again.

Gabon has got to be the funniest season ever.

indecent proposal

I got a sex job offer days ago and I didn’t just like it. I hearted it. Seriously, am I really that fine that some old closeted rich fag wanted a taste of my goodies? But how come I’m not on Sur- nevermind. God. I’m that appealing. Wait, again, I’m that appealing. This is such a nice mantra. I could keep on repeating this over and over again.

But seriously, inasmuch as it was a self-esteem booster, it was also gross. I mean, yuck. I am not a gigolo. I am not a man-whore. I don’t sell myself. I am not for sale.

But if there’s one thing that I really liked from the whole experience, it’s the thought of having power over people. If that isn’t great enough, then I don’t know what is. And the best part is when I get to turn them down and leave them feeling like kids who couldn’t have any candies from the candy store. Climax.

So to say that I liked the fact that someone’s willing to pay me for sex…that would be an understatement. I thought it was great, mindblowing and transcendant. God I’m so appealing. LMFAO ;-P

Not that bad.

I've, in a weird little way, uncomfortably befriended the enemy. Worse is, I’ve come to grow a little respect for that guy. Krigi’s not that bad- just a simple case of acting out. Anyhow, he handled his elimination better than I did and that spells respect from me. Heck, it’s been months now and I’m still not over it. Something must be really wrong with me. Besides, we now have a common enemy; and that’s the fat dude from Survivor, Neil Gumban. We are gonna fucking kill him.

Talking about Survivor, I actually chanced upon the premier. Ok, I didn’t just chanced upon it. I did watch it on purpose… all because I thought I wanted to do some bashing after. It turned out I’ve realized after that even if the show may suffer in comparison with the US version given the fact that it’s THE US version compared to a GMA production, it’s not that bad. Think budget. My friend Paulo even thought the show had poor editing and poor cinematography. Uh well, yeah, maybe. All I really cared for was the all important buffs! Where are those freaking buffs?

But the shows got some charm going on-in the person of Patani. She alone could save the show. What the show lacks in personality (only 4 castaways has it), it makes up with the inclusion of the interesting yaya from Cebu.

Other than the slow pacing, and the cutting of challenges making it, in Paulo’s words, “uneventful and anticlimactic”, I couldn’t think of any reason why the show sucks. Wait, I’m not in it. It does suck.

But biases aside, the show is decent enough for people to watch… Just not that good enough for the fans but, really, not that bad. I’m serious.

TVgasms

I actually thought 90210 was good- fucking good to the point that i was already scaring myself. Good god. I can’t believe I watch those kind of shows! But… uh yeah. I watched. And I think it rocked. It’s the best new show this season. I think it’s the only new show this season. Not that the “new” factor really mattered, ok it did, but that doesn’t change the fact that the show was actually freakingly good and that it’s a spinoff of Beverly Hills and that the outrageously hot-for-her-age Jennie Garth is reprising her role, and that Shannen Doherty is also back on doing fictitious character and not reality tv… Note in mind: watch it.

But when it comes to Survivor Gabon, I don’t even have to watch it to know that it’s definitely going to be awesome. It’s my fucking favorite show. Of course it’s going to be great- no matter what the outcome is. And they’re now on HiDef meaning, with the exception of the castaways, everything would be stunning to look at. But other than the people on the show looking worse than ever or Jeff Probst's aging, all fans are going to have TVgasms of sorts. Good god. Mark Burnett is a sheer genius. I can’t wait for the 25^th!

Just don’t watch Survivor Philippines. Trust me it’s going to be dragging. And with GMAs track record, the local version is going to suck. Think Pinoy Flop, er, I mean Idol. I could be just sourgraping. But it's definitely going to suck.