survivor reject.

Yes, I auditioned for the show. And yes, I didn’t get through. And you bet, I’m hoping the Philippine franchise would be one hell of a megaflop. I am officially a sourgraping Survivor reject. It’s all because Philippine TV is all about white, halfbreeds and sobstories. Not even my nose helped. Here’s a trip down emotional memory lane on my recent misadventure.


Ecstatic- Words that best described the feeling were: “Shut up! No way! Get outta here!”. I knew I was the only one who felt that way when I first saw the Survivor teaser on TV. To begin with, I’m a Survivor fan since day 1. And the reason why I took up nursing was because I wanted to go to the States, be an American citizen just so I could join join Survivor. I believe I failed MedSurg because of this. It was God’s way of saying that I should be on that show. Actually, I believed that. The whole audition thing was for formalities sake and that I would end up as one of the castaways anyway.


Merriment- Still convinced that I was going to get through, I assessed the competition. Affirmative. The urban myth was right. It doesn’t take a genius to know that Davao doesn’t really spell the word “pretty” in its population. Just tune in to Big Brother. That’s a given fact. Secretly I was jumping for joy already.


Complete shock and utter disbelief- When the last digit didn’t turn out to be mine, I gave out the best OH My God to be recorded on camera. That was classic TV right there at its finest. I’m hoping they’ll use that as some audition clips. It’ll just attest the fact that I’m perfect for reality TV. They chose sobstory Sal over me? There must’ve been some kind of mix up. He wasn’t even half as good-looking. He didn’t even have personality. He just had a freaking sobstory. I came up to him, shook his hand and said “God I hate you”. On the sidelines, the German mutt was more than beaming with my elimination. I wanted to kill that Nazi right there and then.

My batchmates then told me they expected me to get though. Even I, expected it too. Whatever happened to them perceiving me as a threat? Whatever happened to my “I’m very manipulative, I’m such a good liar, I’m here to use other people” sales pitch that the panel loved so much? The panel even wrote comments on my application form- comments I thought to be golden tickets for final casting shoo in. Whatever happened to the good-looking people pattern? I wasn’t really relying on that aspect but I thought it would help.

I returned on the 2nd day. It was then the producer said “alam niyo kasi, ang hinahanap naming dito, eh yung feel naming na magugustuhan ng mga tao”. Was he implying I wasn’t likable? Having heard that, I kind of expected to be eliminated on the final round yet again. So yes, I got eliminated. He chose a midget mestizo who did nothing but smile and said that he would survive on the Island because he goes to the gym. Note to self: go to the gym. If I want to survive in an Island, I must go to the gym. I should have said I took cherifer as a kid.

And so, I’m hoping Survivor Philippines wouldn’t live up to its hype and that it would look cheap compared to the US version. I wish it’ll be the biggest flop this season. And it’s all because they didn’t pick me."

The Tals effect (meanest middle finger to that fat dude from Survivor)

Tals Diaz:

Hey, actually I think you write pretty well! Do you want to rant about your Survivor experience the best way possible- by writing an article fo 2BU? They're looking for new writers to add to their pool. If it's more "Super" than 2BU, I'll try to stick it in Super. I think it's a cool story, and it may just be your first break in the fulfilling yet not quite financially rewarding path of writing. That's how everyone starts anyway, contributing for 2bu!

I found a soft copy of my Pakistan article online. It's here: http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/you/super/view/20080523-138402/This-side-of-PakistanAlso, and this got me in stitches - while searching for a soft copy I found something totally hilarious! It's an article published in the Tehran Times, aka "Iran's Leading Daily" and it's about my article on Pakistan. They practically cut and pasted my whole article and made me a "he"! LOL!!!!!!!http://www.tehrantimes.com/index_View.asp?code=169541

Let me know if you wanna get a shot at writing that Survivor piece. I'm serious - better also if you have pictures. And write how you sound - you'll know you've got it right when you read it and it goes with that voice in your head. Haha did that make sense? ;)

Cheers,Tals

hey i will propose your survivor story in the next planning session and send your work in okay? have a good weekend james =)

Not that I’m bragging that Tals and I are communicating and that she took notice of my writing, it’s just that after my shocker elimination, I want to reaffirm my self worth. And what better way to reaffirm the already standing hard and tall self-worth of mine is to post Tals Diaz’s message- to me. Yes we’re friends. On friendster. And on facebook… and facebook is, like, totally exclusive. Meaning we really are friends. One time, back in 04, she told me about being happy after Colby Donaldson’s ouster in Survivor All Stars. That’s, like, an honest blog from one Survivor fan to another. So anyway, I’m just saying that I’m actually giving Neil Gumban, Survivor’s project manager, the meanest middle finger right now.

Hey there fat dude, never would I kiss your fat ass just to be on that fucking show that’s going to suffer in comparison with the US version anyway. They’re going HD, and you’re just shooting in Thailand? Poor. Ramona Diaz’s niece really knows how to appreciate real talent when she finds one. Sobstories are so passe. That Sobstory guy you chose over me, I wish him more tragedies in life. That Al guy changing people's perception among muslims... uh so showbiz. and Dauel was just short. Dude you chose a pretty boy midget over a handsome guy 5'9''. Seriously? Nevermind Krigi. He's the antichrist.

What I'm saying is, I should have been on the show dude! Should've been. Call me and I'd be more than willing to kiss ass. I'll even be your bestfriend. So just call. You have already have my digits.

Sourgraping

I had my contract signing with Giordano Philippines yesterday. Did I make it sound right? Anyway, I was laughing at the thought. Contract signing. God. It actually happens in real life. Not just on TV. At the back of my head I was imagining as if it were some from GMA. And that there were people from the press and a whole lot of photo ops. Yes, I’m still hoping even if that’s next to impossible. And I’m still the show would be a again, “one hell of a megaflop” because I’m not going to be in it. I’m wishing the whole cast and crew would die. Kidding. But half meant. Shit. I’m such a loser for writing this. But I don’t fucking care. I’ve always been such a loser. But like, that’s something new.

Amanda's loss made me smile

I’d say Survivor Micronesia would be written in books as one of the best seasons ever. So what if the favorites line-up was less than stellar than the All-Stars and that Yau man got the boot early in the game? So what? It is still by far the best in terms of blindsides, evacuations and dumbest moves in Survivor’s history. And in the finale, thank God Amanda didn’t win. It would have been anticlimactic if she did.

I was actually hoping that self-confessed cutthroat, ruthless, stonecold bitch/monkey girl in the Survivor fandom Natalie would take home the million dollars. The only fan left came in just 4^th. Not bad. That’s still 13 weeks of airtime. In reality it felt was less than that. Her confessionals only started airing when she blindsided Jason. Anyhow, at least Parvati won. It pays to be a flirt. Not bad really. I was enjoying hearing the boos when Jeff announced her name. Now that’s what you call an ending. After 8 years, Survivor has still kept me glued on my TV. Cheers for more entertaining seasons to come.

leanne

As the list of changes went on- such as giving sermons on why I should be “tact” to the point of forgetting that she wasn’t the most tact person as well and talking loud and proud about being esteemed as some smartass in her block- I was convinced that Leanne had been taken over by some powerful being… for good.

Ever since freshmen year, I always thought of Leanne as some party girl slut who liked to party, party, party. So I was under the impression that, in no time, she would fall hard, hard, hard. But boy was I wrong. She survived. She stayed. She’s turning senior.

When I saw her get inside the chapel once, it was so weird and surreal that it felt like some antichrist sought redemption. That was 2 years ago. While there may be lapses, given that Leanne will always be talking about people behind their backs and that she might find this trait hard to outgrow (this what makes Leanne her own person and less of it sometimes), the change in her personality is truly remarkable. She even stared at me as if I was the devil when I blurted out an honest opinion. Santisima. I actually thought I was the devil until I realized Leanne was just being her new self-righteous self. Forgiven. So kudos to her. I am supporting her all the way.

P.S. And I don’t really give a fuck if she gets mad at me for writing this. She already knew what I thought of her before. Moreover, she tried to destroy me to Jade when I wrote the piece “Candy”. Her plan backfired since I can always get away with certain things. Did she really think Jade would be freaking mad? Nobody takes me seriously. Or so they think. ;-)

Last of my kind

I was rooting for Jason the entire night because

• he’s the underdog (we all love the underdog, don’t we?),

• showed Ozzy who’s boss by beating him at the immunity challenge

• tried to help Eliza

• and connived with her to oust Ozzy … which eventually backfired… but lead to Eliza’a outing Ozzy as having the hidden Immunity idol

• the girls are dominating and picking the male specie one by one

There were countless times last night wherein I just want to hit him in the head and wake him up, the whole childlike wide-eyed kid charisma was, even though frustrating, spelled capital RESPECT. God, I didn’t expect that there are still good-natured people living in this world. I thought was the last one.

Jade wants candy

The truth is Jade totally wants me. Uh not subtle. Why did she (and Leanne) have complain a lot about how I became such a chick magnet of some sort… and even how my supposedly two minutes with Avril turned to ten? I mean, those stuffs didn’t even have to concern her. Read: Possessive Psycho.

This got me worried in a platonic way (of course). The possibility of turning this little crush of hers into an obsession is so great; this could lead to the untimely demise of her normal brain functioning. If only she could muster the guts to tell it my straight to my face, she would never have to blurt out hints bitterness towards me. It just gets more and more obvious all the time. I’m also starting to suspect that she was the one bugging me on my other phone.

I am just concerned. Really concerned. Really.

To James and Eliza

The Ozzy blindside episode of Survivor is now by far the best this season and it’s all because the narcissistic, arrogant, self-absorbed and so-full-of-himself Ozzy Lusth got the boot. Booyah… which lead to James thinking he’s no longer the dumbest ever in Survivor history.

UH Yes James, you’re still the dumbest Survivor ever. Don’t you ever forget that. How on earth did you get the idea? Thou shall not compare your experience with Ozzy because yours was a case of stupidity, not conceit.

And Eliza, didn’t it ever occur to you that, now, less is more. Cue in Bardem. You knew that was going to happen. Your reaction looked exaggerated... but I still like you though. Forgiven.

VanessaXXX

You might think that the two species that passed this year’s Medical-Surgical Nursing were the boring nerds and those that, well, cheated their way through the whole semester, but it’s not that quite simple: in profiling this semester’s survivors, I realized that, aside from the people who can both fit in as nerds and cheaters, there were also people who, may never in a million years, would look like someone who could pass kindergarten but managed to pull through. Living proof is VanessaXXX (note: not her real name).

Sure, this girl looked like someone who came out straight from porn that could barely spell, say, any hard word, but in the end, when the likes of Judith Lavictoria and Peter Naval flunked, she proved everyone me wrong. She’s not that as dumb as she looked after all. She passed… surprising guys like me who thought she had a very promising future in porn

The moral: never judge a girl by her looks curves alone. Sometimes, the brain comes in sexy packages.

Pout, pout baby

It wasn’t until yesterday that I watched American Idol’s results show. I missed it the other day. On purpose… which is weird since I usually end up watching it anyway, blaming the lack of quality television, by which I mean that David Tutera guy being himself. So creepy. I mean, why can’t Travel and Living have Globe Trekker or Lonely Planet running when I want them to.

So our very own Ramy finally got the boot. It was sooner than what I have hoped for. But her elimination was a no-brainer. Not that she gave a bad performance but it wasn’t stellar either. The judges going easy on Ramy, caring less about a mediocre performance was a sign. It was their subtle way of saying, you’ve got to go. So much for being the first Asian-American Idol, huh?