batch 01 should all hate Pebbo

Truth is, I really thought he was going to lead a boring life, maybe do broadsheet or become a surgeon. Boy was I wrong. He’s now opening a store at Robinsons, making waves in Iloilo, and interacting with bigwigs and famous people from the “industry”…And I thought I was already cool just because Tals and I are communicating! sometimes. If there’s one thing I hate about being friends with Paulo, aside from him-making-it-until-the-final-casting-when-I-was-the-die-hard-fan, it’s the feeling that I’m a some kinda loser slacker dude who’s been left behind.

Everyone from SPED actually have great futures ahead of them. I think. And I don’t! Ken S., if you’re reading this, dude, your prediction didn’t come true. Thanks a lot dude. Thanks a lot. I mean, Paulo has got all these options. That was his problem. In my case, the lack thereof is. Where in world is justice? Well Paulo did offer me to become a human hanger of some sort. I’m not sure if he was serious… bet he only said it because we’ve been friends since kindergarten and I’m going through shit. Great, I’m officially now a charity case. And if Maricel and Marsha did commend my sinister, evil look that, according to them, would look good on the "runway". They said it partly because I do look evil (and I like that) and mostly because I’m their friend. That’s all there is to it… That is, if Paulo didn’t make the whole story up. My issue. I’m sure Paulo wouldn’t lie about it, but still, I won’t completely buy it until Maricel and Marsha say it to my face. And besides, that was patronizing.

…And too convenient don't ya think? Hmmm.

He didn’t tell me that he told Neil Gumban he was expecting me to be one of the qualifiers until recently. He implied that I was still emotionally fragile to know about it. Which reminds me, Pau, If you’re reading this, we have to still have to talk about you-dropping-my-name-at-the-auditions. And for the record, I’m no longer bitter. I’m just want to kill Neil Gumban. I’m building an army against him. Anyone? Feel free to join. I’m no longer bitter. Heck, I’m not even whining that I can’t have Leighton Meester for a girlfriend. I’m more of an Emanuelle Chriqui guy. It’s actually Paulo who’s been whining about that. I just hate Neil Gumban that’s all. And Pau, right on, dude. Right on.

End of contract is to end of Tecson

I’m finally done with work. Finally. Finally! Hated it anyway- well, as much as I liked it. And it wasn’t the most fulfilling job in the world. I’m sorry, I know that other people would find it fulfilling and I’m sure there lives a certain kind of strata that would like it. But not me.

Now that it's, I’ve never been happier since… I can’t remember. Basta. I’ve never been happier. I no longer have to deal with the stock clerk’s constant mood swings. And that’s like every minute or two. God I know she’s bitter about life and all but she doesn’t have to take that out on us. Totally dragging.

Or with the fag manager. Just to set things clear; this is not gay bashing. This is just a bash on people who happen to be gays. My manager is the reason why I haven’t been able to spend more time with my grandfather. My grandfather is now dead. Phuket! And I’m still hurting over the fact that he’s gone. Well karma’s a big bad bitch. I’m sure my manager would have to deal with that bitch sooner or later. And if this makes me feel better, I just want to broadcast to the world that my manager is still in the closet and his boyfriend’s name is Jeff. Oops, sorry. That just came out. Everyone knows about it anyway. Damn obvious. And the fag boss from manila. I just didn’t like him. Not even worth my time.

The area sales manager from Cebu, thank god I no longer have to see his philandering face. He had sex with Mae who’s known for having been all over town, has an STD (*citation needed) and who recently had an abortion days before his official visit. As if the whole Giordano staff didn’t know about the sex thing. God bless their immoral souls.

So those were the people I had to deal with. It just makes me miss Ma’am Tecson more. Or maybe not.

It didn't suck.

See? It didn’t suck. Survivor, the CBS version, would never suck. Never. They have all the budget in the world. And they don’t have a Neil Gumban to ruin the show.

So the other night, I had 80 minutes of non-stop TVgasm. God the premier was hellraisingly good. I wouldn’t be blogging about it if it wasn’t. It was just so damn funny. Where’d they get the castaways anyway? The Olympian couldn’t even climb up the hill. The doctor had a dick slip. On High Definition. And a gay lawyer just fell head over heels for him… which is as of this moment, I bet is probably rewinding the wardrobe malfunction scene over and over again.

Gabon has got to be the funniest season ever.

indecent proposal

I got a sex job offer days ago and I didn’t just like it. I hearted it. Seriously, am I really that fine that some old closeted rich fag wanted a taste of my goodies? But how come I’m not on Sur- nevermind. God. I’m that appealing. Wait, again, I’m that appealing. This is such a nice mantra. I could keep on repeating this over and over again.

But seriously, inasmuch as it was a self-esteem booster, it was also gross. I mean, yuck. I am not a gigolo. I am not a man-whore. I don’t sell myself. I am not for sale.

But if there’s one thing that I really liked from the whole experience, it’s the thought of having power over people. If that isn’t great enough, then I don’t know what is. And the best part is when I get to turn them down and leave them feeling like kids who couldn’t have any candies from the candy store. Climax.

So to say that I liked the fact that someone’s willing to pay me for sex…that would be an understatement. I thought it was great, mindblowing and transcendant. God I’m so appealing. LMFAO ;-P

Not that bad.

I've, in a weird little way, uncomfortably befriended the enemy. Worse is, I’ve come to grow a little respect for that guy. Krigi’s not that bad- just a simple case of acting out. Anyhow, he handled his elimination better than I did and that spells respect from me. Heck, it’s been months now and I’m still not over it. Something must be really wrong with me. Besides, we now have a common enemy; and that’s the fat dude from Survivor, Neil Gumban. We are gonna fucking kill him.

Talking about Survivor, I actually chanced upon the premier. Ok, I didn’t just chanced upon it. I did watch it on purpose… all because I thought I wanted to do some bashing after. It turned out I’ve realized after that even if the show may suffer in comparison with the US version given the fact that it’s THE US version compared to a GMA production, it’s not that bad. Think budget. My friend Paulo even thought the show had poor editing and poor cinematography. Uh well, yeah, maybe. All I really cared for was the all important buffs! Where are those freaking buffs?

But the shows got some charm going on-in the person of Patani. She alone could save the show. What the show lacks in personality (only 4 castaways has it), it makes up with the inclusion of the interesting yaya from Cebu.

Other than the slow pacing, and the cutting of challenges making it, in Paulo’s words, “uneventful and anticlimactic”, I couldn’t think of any reason why the show sucks. Wait, I’m not in it. It does suck.

But biases aside, the show is decent enough for people to watch… Just not that good enough for the fans but, really, not that bad. I’m serious.

TVgasms

I actually thought 90210 was good- fucking good to the point that i was already scaring myself. Good god. I can’t believe I watch those kind of shows! But… uh yeah. I watched. And I think it rocked. It’s the best new show this season. I think it’s the only new show this season. Not that the “new” factor really mattered, ok it did, but that doesn’t change the fact that the show was actually freakingly good and that it’s a spinoff of Beverly Hills and that the outrageously hot-for-her-age Jennie Garth is reprising her role, and that Shannen Doherty is also back on doing fictitious character and not reality tv… Note in mind: watch it.

But when it comes to Survivor Gabon, I don’t even have to watch it to know that it’s definitely going to be awesome. It’s my fucking favorite show. Of course it’s going to be great- no matter what the outcome is. And they’re now on HiDef meaning, with the exception of the castaways, everything would be stunning to look at. But other than the people on the show looking worse than ever or Jeff Probst's aging, all fans are going to have TVgasms of sorts. Good god. Mark Burnett is a sheer genius. I can’t wait for the 25^th!

Just don’t watch Survivor Philippines. Trust me it’s going to be dragging. And with GMAs track record, the local version is going to suck. Think Pinoy Flop, er, I mean Idol. I could be just sourgraping. But it's definitely going to suck.

Gratzie's mom has got it going on.

Mrs. Tanya Michelle Aldrich Golez came by, said hi, smiled, and well, flirted with me... 

Ok, I made the last one up. But that was more than enough for this boy’s spirits to lift up. A penshoppe poster girl actually said hi to me. I could have died right there and then. But I did not. Chose not to… because I opted to be reduced into a blabbing idiot at her mere presence. 

I promise not to forget her waist line. Ever.

It felt like going into a toy store for the first time. There wasn’t any channeling of inner perv self that happened. No My Friend’s Hot Mom fantasies. (Besides, her adorable kid, Gratzie, and I aren’t friends. Yet.)… Just pure wholesome fun. She was just so… pretty. And nice. And down to earth- downright dreamy. 

Just what I needed- something to make me forget about certain things which is synonymous to my arch nemesis’s Survivor stint. She is now officially my hot guardian angel, my statuesque cherub, my Irish heroine. And I’m her earthling on distress.

Oh Mrs. Golez, save me.

survivor reject.

Yes, I auditioned for the show. And yes, I didn’t get through. And you bet, I’m hoping the Philippine franchise would be one hell of a megaflop. I am officially a sourgraping Survivor reject. It’s all because Philippine TV is all about white, halfbreeds and sobstories. Not even my nose helped. Here’s a trip down emotional memory lane on my recent misadventure.


Ecstatic- Words that best described the feeling were: “Shut up! No way! Get outta here!”. I knew I was the only one who felt that way when I first saw the Survivor teaser on TV. To begin with, I’m a Survivor fan since day 1. And the reason why I took up nursing was because I wanted to go to the States, be an American citizen just so I could join join Survivor. I believe I failed MedSurg because of this. It was God’s way of saying that I should be on that show. Actually, I believed that. The whole audition thing was for formalities sake and that I would end up as one of the castaways anyway.


Merriment- Still convinced that I was going to get through, I assessed the competition. Affirmative. The urban myth was right. It doesn’t take a genius to know that Davao doesn’t really spell the word “pretty” in its population. Just tune in to Big Brother. That’s a given fact. Secretly I was jumping for joy already.


Complete shock and utter disbelief- When the last digit didn’t turn out to be mine, I gave out the best OH My God to be recorded on camera. That was classic TV right there at its finest. I’m hoping they’ll use that as some audition clips. It’ll just attest the fact that I’m perfect for reality TV. They chose sobstory Sal over me? There must’ve been some kind of mix up. He wasn’t even half as good-looking. He didn’t even have personality. He just had a freaking sobstory. I came up to him, shook his hand and said “God I hate you”. On the sidelines, the German mutt was more than beaming with my elimination. I wanted to kill that Nazi right there and then.

My batchmates then told me they expected me to get though. Even I, expected it too. Whatever happened to them perceiving me as a threat? Whatever happened to my “I’m very manipulative, I’m such a good liar, I’m here to use other people” sales pitch that the panel loved so much? The panel even wrote comments on my application form- comments I thought to be golden tickets for final casting shoo in. Whatever happened to the good-looking people pattern? I wasn’t really relying on that aspect but I thought it would help.

I returned on the 2nd day. It was then the producer said “alam niyo kasi, ang hinahanap naming dito, eh yung feel naming na magugustuhan ng mga tao”. Was he implying I wasn’t likable? Having heard that, I kind of expected to be eliminated on the final round yet again. So yes, I got eliminated. He chose a midget mestizo who did nothing but smile and said that he would survive on the Island because he goes to the gym. Note to self: go to the gym. If I want to survive in an Island, I must go to the gym. I should have said I took cherifer as a kid.

And so, I’m hoping Survivor Philippines wouldn’t live up to its hype and that it would look cheap compared to the US version. I wish it’ll be the biggest flop this season. And it’s all because they didn’t pick me."

The Tals effect (meanest middle finger to that fat dude from Survivor)

Tals Diaz:

Hey, actually I think you write pretty well! Do you want to rant about your Survivor experience the best way possible- by writing an article fo 2BU? They're looking for new writers to add to their pool. If it's more "Super" than 2BU, I'll try to stick it in Super. I think it's a cool story, and it may just be your first break in the fulfilling yet not quite financially rewarding path of writing. That's how everyone starts anyway, contributing for 2bu!

I found a soft copy of my Pakistan article online. It's here: http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/you/super/view/20080523-138402/This-side-of-PakistanAlso, and this got me in stitches - while searching for a soft copy I found something totally hilarious! It's an article published in the Tehran Times, aka "Iran's Leading Daily" and it's about my article on Pakistan. They practically cut and pasted my whole article and made me a "he"! LOL!!!!!!!http://www.tehrantimes.com/index_View.asp?code=169541

Let me know if you wanna get a shot at writing that Survivor piece. I'm serious - better also if you have pictures. And write how you sound - you'll know you've got it right when you read it and it goes with that voice in your head. Haha did that make sense? ;)

Cheers,Tals

hey i will propose your survivor story in the next planning session and send your work in okay? have a good weekend james =)

Not that I’m bragging that Tals and I are communicating and that she took notice of my writing, it’s just that after my shocker elimination, I want to reaffirm my self worth. And what better way to reaffirm the already standing hard and tall self-worth of mine is to post Tals Diaz’s message- to me. Yes we’re friends. On friendster. And on facebook… and facebook is, like, totally exclusive. Meaning we really are friends. One time, back in 04, she told me about being happy after Colby Donaldson’s ouster in Survivor All Stars. That’s, like, an honest blog from one Survivor fan to another. So anyway, I’m just saying that I’m actually giving Neil Gumban, Survivor’s project manager, the meanest middle finger right now.

Hey there fat dude, never would I kiss your fat ass just to be on that fucking show that’s going to suffer in comparison with the US version anyway. They’re going HD, and you’re just shooting in Thailand? Poor. Ramona Diaz’s niece really knows how to appreciate real talent when she finds one. Sobstories are so passe. That Sobstory guy you chose over me, I wish him more tragedies in life. That Al guy changing people's perception among muslims... uh so showbiz. and Dauel was just short. Dude you chose a pretty boy midget over a handsome guy 5'9''. Seriously? Nevermind Krigi. He's the antichrist.

What I'm saying is, I should have been on the show dude! Should've been. Call me and I'd be more than willing to kiss ass. I'll even be your bestfriend. So just call. You have already have my digits.

Sourgraping

I had my contract signing with Giordano Philippines yesterday. Did I make it sound right? Anyway, I was laughing at the thought. Contract signing. God. It actually happens in real life. Not just on TV. At the back of my head I was imagining as if it were some from GMA. And that there were people from the press and a whole lot of photo ops. Yes, I’m still hoping even if that’s next to impossible. And I’m still the show would be a again, “one hell of a megaflop” because I’m not going to be in it. I’m wishing the whole cast and crew would die. Kidding. But half meant. Shit. I’m such a loser for writing this. But I don’t fucking care. I’ve always been such a loser. But like, that’s something new.