Dear Mr. Crusader
I blog.
That counts as writing, right? So anyway, yeah, blinding flash of the obvious here, I am applying for any vacancies in the school paper. Truth is, I was eyeing the position of a maintenance guy but since you weren’t looking for any, a feature writer would do just fine.
I’m a 3rd year nursing student who thinks he can write. Yes, I think I can. Don’t burst my bubble. If you think I can’t and you can’t suck that in, you can tell that to my… uh, fans; people who read my writings. There are 2 of them. They’re into pulverizing things, I forgot to tell you.
Did I mention I blog? Right. Well, that’s the only experience I had for the past 4 years. I was an associate editor at our school paper back in high school but I didn’t really know what being an associate editor meant. I just wrote stuffs that our small school cared to publish.
If you’re looking for a reference, I have none. But Tals Diaz and I are friends. On facebook. She’s one of the best writers broadsheet could ever have. Few days ago, she wrote something on my wall, not that mattered, but, yeah, we communicate. Here’s an excerpt of one of her messages: “Hey, actually I think you write pretty well! Do you want to rant about your experience the best way possible- by writing an article fo 2BU? They're looking for new writers to add to their pool. If it's more "Super" than 2BU, I'll try to stick it in Super. I think it's a cool story, and it may just be your first break in the fulfilling yet not quite financially rewarding path of writing. That's how everyone starts anyway, contributing for 2bu!”
I can never be Jehna Paigan, a Gino de la Paz, or a Tals Diaz, but I can be me. I have my own style. I have my own attack when it comes to writing. I’m fun, a little pricky, but fun nonetheless. I think. I am very vulgar as much as I am conservative. Nobody believes that. And I am very opinionated. That, I’d like to believe.
I’m sure I’m going to be a great addition to your bevy of writers. There isn’t just enough representation of stupid people in the publication that it actually starts to feel a little unfair. I mean, where have all the stupid people gone? We’re, like, gazillions. I tell you, it would be great for your image that you hire me. Can you imagine the market you’re going to reach when you get me as one of your wordsmiths? I repeat, we’re gazillions.
So anyway, if you liked the sales pitch, text me. You have my digits. And if it’s going to be a NO, don’t even bother.
I just love to write. Period.
Cheerios,
James
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