The Politics in Dating a Hipon

So it was one of those Thursday, almost Friday stress-beer night and all my friends had other ‘priorities ‘ and the only one who promised to swing by by the bar actually stood me up that I ended up drinking alone. A few gulps down and almost immediately I got hit on by a prostitute trying to earn a buck.

You know the prototype, bangable bod and butterface. Meaning everything's good but her face.

Or so I thought she was.

Turned out she wasn’t a hoe but just a normal bar patron that comes off a little kaladkarin.

Interestingly, after a few exchanges of terrible dirty pick up lines, we kinda hit it off. It wasn’t cerebral intercourse per se, but there were moments that she could actually keep up with certain topics and be a little cultured every minute or two but that’s before she injects it with some street crass green jokes. So if people assume she’s a hooker and I believe that happens a lot, it was all her doing.

If she were pretty, I’d feel really bad because there’s nothing sadder than a beautiful girl that registers pokpokin unintentionally.  But then again, she weren’t, so just as what every shrimp does, they rely on attitude or if not overcompensate on personality. And boy does she have personality.

The next morning, I consulted the ‘experts’ which basically are random people on my phonebook.

 ‘Would you do a shrimp?’

Most, if not everyone said NO. Let’s face it, who would ever readily admit of doing one? And if it ever got so complicated that feelings got involved, It is a known and acceptable fact that all lovestruck couples have beer goggles on during the entire duration of the relationship.

One of the first people who replied to my query adamantly said he’ll never do one. Basing on his track record though speaks otherwise. He was always the one with the questionable choices.

But there’s one who said she wouldn’t mind just as long that on that interfacial relationship, she gets the upper hand. She must be the pretty one because, according to her, she’d rather have people baffled and asking why she’s dating an ugly guy and not the other way around. Makes sense considering she’s doing quite good herself professionally. She doesn’t want to be labelled as *coughs sugarmommy.

I remember going to this event one time and accidentally bumping into someone I know. We did a little chit chat and just as I was about to go my way and end the convo, the words, ‘Uy baka may makakita sa atin, baka anong isipin’ came out from her mouth.

Oh no she didn’t.

Kung makapagsalita naman to, akala mo kung sinong maganda.

Because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and state the blinding flash of the obvious, I just said ‘Paki natin sa mga tao.’  I was shocked to know that all this time, she still hasn’t realized she’s a shrimp.

Made me want to grab a mirror and shove it on her face.

So I just smiled. Nothing feels more great that knowing something others don’t.

According to some drunken wise words, It is said that, If the sex was great then it cannot be denied. Pero pag hipon, deny to death.

Besides, no one is perfect and there’s always a room for mistakes.  And if you’re asking, NO, I had to run for my life.