The World Loves A Beefcake

I shudder at the sight of a very pretty girl going out with a douchebag. No, that cannot be happening at this day and age. Whatever happened to substance, to Shia LeBeouf getting paired with Megan Fox, to life being ultimately the revenge of the nerds?

When you think the mating landscape has become progressive, that pretty mestiza girl from college is now dating a guy whose primary goal in life is to increase the girth of his biceps.

Seeing them HHWW at the mall struck a chord in me so hard that I did what I swore myself not to do ever in my entire dorky existence.

I signed up for a gym.

Now I know what I did what such a sellout, but after watching Captain America recently, I realized that nobody cares who the director was or who wrote the script, and if it were to be based on the shrieks alone, muscles make girls go into a wild frenzy.

In what world does muscle trumps over brains?  Wait, earth calling Jaime.

All this time, I thought brain was the biggest the sex organ and intelligence is the best aphrodisiac.

Hoping to learn more about this anomaly, I text blasted girls on my phonebook, ‘Quick, bright o gwapo? #yungtotoo #walangplastikan’.

Honestly, I thought it was a shocker that everyone replied with looks as their top priority. But there’s one though that replied, ‘what quick’?

*Faceplam

When Survivor did the Brains vs Beauty vs Brawns this season, I thought I was gonna be rooting for the brains. But since they proved to be imbeciles, I leaned more towards the beauties, specifically hot girl Morgan. I dunno everybody needs a bosom for a  pillow I guess.

Now I know I’m contradicting myself, but then again, I was thinking with my other head.

We all have beer goggles on when it comes to cerebral matters. Dafuq if she’s dumb.

In the end, I take that we can’t choose who we love. For all we know, that asswipe that’s the mestiza girl’s current squeeze is smart (which I highly doubt).

I told my friend quick meant ‘premature ejaculator’ and she just took it just like that. No brain process whatsoever. But I digress.  I didn’t have the patience because I just felt the urgency of this subject.

And if you’re asking, It’s been a week now, but I still haven’t showed up at the gym. I still haven't lost hope for humanity.