Like most Filipina of her generation, Olive (not her real name), 20ish, knows good sex, and would rather not talk about it. It’s a Pinay thing. But unlike most supposed to be sexually “active” Pinays, as of recently, here’s the sitch; she just wasn’t getting any.
07:05:12 am
jaime..
02:39:16 pm
jaime, I did s0mething realy crazy.
02:43:50 pm
hahaha. threes0me..
Oh no she didn’t but oh yes she just did. She was finally getting some again. I woke up, browsed through my phone and holy schmoly, Olive just had her first threesome.
03:02:58 pm
I felt a hint of guilt… but d idea of threes0me, n0t a single bit..
Geez Olive, I could really feel your devastation. I would’ve thrown her a party
Why of course, a story is only as interesting as its details. Why and how it happened, let’s just say she and the other party felt a connection she haven’t felt in a long long time. Okay, horny. And the third wheel just happened to be there, what supposed to be the lone audience to their execution of carnal hunger, decided to join in on the fun. That brings a whole new meaning to audience participation.
Having been told vividly and horridly the straight out of porn shenanigan, especially from a female perspective, it got me thinking. Could it be that the clit is the new cock?
Venus (not her real name) was a girl I met from one of those “research” on nightly dispatches at college watering holes. When got so hammered by rhum, she told me that guys she’s recently been with, literally ran off, running for their life just because they couldn’t keep up with her. At first I thought she was joking. Turned out she wasn’t.
After a few more meet ups, and getting even more hammered than the last, she wound up confessing she haven’t had orgasm for ages. In my mind, images of Linda Lovelace from Deep Throat, the movie about a girl discovering her clit is on her throat, played in slow mo. But let’s be serious. It couldn’t be, now could it?
“Jaime, remember that guy who came up to me earlier?” Venus says. “He’s the guy who ran off. Pussy.” From then on, I knew that the smartest thing a guy should do in the midst of Venus, when everyone calls it a night, is to just go home. Alone.
If our boy-parts heads below gets rushes of blood from time to time, so does its female counterpart. When it comes to classifying Venus, she’s not a sex machine, she’s a flytrap. (Just a fleeting thought; Wouldn’t it be rad though that after doing Venus, and you did good, got her toes curling, you get a shirt saying “I survived Venus Flytrap. And lived to tell the story…”) But certain things need certain machines for drilling. Thou shall not bite more than you can chew. If your tools aint tuned up, then you might just want to fahgettaboutit.
She comes with a warning. Enter at your own risk. Proceed with caution.
It’s amazing how some modern Filipinas are these days. I encountered a skank once, next thing I know, she’s critiquing my art. Secretly I cried foul, because that’s what us guys are, dicks with humongous egos. More than that, I figured it was inappropriate for someone known as their college whore critiquing my works when the only thing she’s known for is being the entire college’s lay. Go back to your usual corner whore of
And so I asked Mikky (not her real name), a recent explorer of the non-virgin territory, if there is some sort of truth to my theory. “saba oi! Buang,” she texts “beat the heat :3”. Translation: “Yes Jaime we are just horndogs as you guys.” Don’t you just hate it when girls have to code-speak. It makes us guys to put on that extra effort to decipher simple things like a yes or no. Like every Filipina, does she really have to give some indirect affirmation? But at least I got my yes.
Yes generations do change. With the exception of a classmate back in sophomore year, I haven’t seen a girl in a long skirt and long-sleeves in ages. Thank heavens for that! And while some are for the better like Olive who would act out smut scenes from time to time, then comes in a curveball like a stuck up whore who has to just have to have a say in everything. Venus the flytrap is debatable.
I remember telling Olive what she did was perfectly normal and it’s just one of those things she’ll think fondly of when she’s all wrinkly and stuff and hopefully still getting some action… that back in the days, when being drunk leads to doing the nasty, she was getting some, like crazy.
03:10:53 pm
ma0 gyud! hehehe. it was just one weird drunk nyt. Hehe
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