Storms and Blackouts

With no electricity and no access to social media, the one good thing that the recent storm contributed to the life of a good friend, is that it got so boring it got her thinking about her life in general.

“Am I a badass chick? So I don’t deserve some good, serious man?” she asked.

Yes she’s she is badass. Yes, there is no denying the fact the she is actually IT, personified. But her second question hit something close to home. It got me thinking, if you have done a lot of fuckery in your past, are you not worthy of any good shit in the future?

As kids we were thought of the concept of heaven/hell and reward/punishment. If you do good, then you go to heaven. If you do bad, you go to heaven hell.

Then how do you explain good girls falling for bad boys and good boys jerking off for bad girls? Or that devil friend of yours who still hasn’t gotten any bad karma despite of being, as everyone knows, the devil.

And you know the Philippines is fucked when after more than, I don’t know, a freaking long time now, that the perpetrators of the Maguindano Massacre still hasn’t been punished.

We are all fucked. By society. By media. By the producers who rigs your favorite reality show. By the casters who cut you early in the audition. By your one true love who you still think is your one true love in spite of all the blinding flash of the obvious. By the Mayan Calendar… We are all fucked.

This whole Bopha superstorm shall pass like some midterms you didn’t study for. There will be loss. There will be collateral damages. But there will be good things that will spring out because of this. Like the picture, everyone is waiting for; the proof that a friend really has ingrained the goal of remaining beautiful in times of distress. (Rianne we're waiting...)

It may sound jovial, but isn’t that what we Filipinos have been known for?

What I like bad things happening is that when everything has settled, good thing ensues. Last year’s Sendong brought out the heroes in everyone. We are now a close-knit community more than ever.

So back to my friend. She’s been through worse than a superstorm of a year these past eleven months. And had quite a number of blackouts (oh yeah). For some time I thought she hits rock bottom until she hits a new low again and again and again.

I never judged and I never imposed my beliefs. It would be hypocritical of me anyways since I was never the good boy in people’s high moral standards.

And maybe, that’s what should friends do. Instead of being a self-righteous prick, why can’t you just be a friend for once? Help not because there are cameras but because it is what you ought to do. Like helping a drunk friend walk on his way home, you too, will stumble. But that is something you can just laugh about.

So does she not deserve a good, serious man?

Well, I say, everyone deserves to be happy. Why settle for serious when you can have fun?

And we really should have blackouts more often.

Scenrealt's Guide to Weeding Out Sucky Friends

"Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you 

should hold on. " -Baz Luhrmann

The truth of the matter is we no longer have time for friends as much as we used to. That’s the price of being in your 20's. People just moved on… prolly to somewhere better or to someplace wherein you are just not a part of anymore. And either they’re busy, or you are, reasons as to why your siblings from another mother just couldn't have the time to have reckless abandon duties with their college partner in crime just pile up. Mostly because of work, then work, and work. Add different geographical locations to the equation, then comes another episode of In Your 20’s.

So if this is really a part of growing up, which part of this doesn't suck?

*crickets chirping

Yeah it got me thinking too.  I can’t really think of any good reason why it is not a sucky time of our lives at all.

If losing friends is really inevitable, who are the one’s we should keep and who to write off? One would assume that after two decades of existence, most of us have been calibrated on who’s in or who’s out.

The people you went to jail with, IN. The person who got you out of jail, IN. The reason for that jail time, OUT. The person who has the all the stash connections, IN. People who are gonna be huge someday, OU-er IN. The most loyal minion in the world, IN. The bar owner, IN. The person to be most likely hated by the jury, IN.

Weeding out is tricky, you say? It sure is. But I've made a list of some species I’m planning to eradicate.

Tall-tale Teddy

I’m dead sure that if there’s anyone I would weed out right now, it’s those people who until now, at this age, tell tall tales just to impress everyone. Friendship that is not based on substance isn't friendship at all. Then what do you make out of friendship that is based on lies?

Simply put, we don’t couldn't care less about how your vagina can open a coke bottle. Because as friends, we already know what your koo-kaa is capable of. We know a lie whenever we hear one.

Needy Norman

They reach out to you whenever ONLY they need something. The minute they start PMing, DMing, texting after a long time of no communication means they need something. I’m like, seriously?

I’m not Santa. And I’m not fucking rich. I’m not gonna help out anyone who only remembers me when the need arrives.

Some friends are just there for the booze but not for the sobriety. They’re the ones that leave you cold when you’re sober.

Unreachable Udale

There will always be people that aren't good in keeping in touch. They don’t do social media. They don’t do phones. And we accept that.

But then there are just a bunch of airheads that think are just waaaay better than you. Better jobs; higher education; These are the things the got into their heads and swelled it.

Most of the time, they are the insecure schmucks that yearns for acceptance by the people they deem cool. High school was awful for them, most likely. And they spent half their lives hating on people who had it better. But what they fail to realize is that they will always be misfits looking in. Unless, they get over the fact that, yes high school was torture like what everyone else had, then there’s no way of getting them have their feet back into the ground.

Hypocrite Hector

Ever had someone ask you how you’re doing and it didn't feel genuine at all? That. These are the “friends” that check up on you because they want to affirm that they are faring better. Come on, this isn't a competition. If you can’t be happy for another person’s success, then just curl up and die.

In your 20’s, there comes a point in time when you realize who your friends are; who makes the effort... and those who are worthy of those efforts. Things aren't gonna be what it used to be anymore. People grow and people grow apart.

Gone are the times when after class hangouts happen. Whatever your definition of hangout was.

If you still think, it’s that sucky. Think of it this way, at least at this stage in life, we already know who’ll stick with us for a very very long time.

That Gap Year

I partied hard last new year’s eve.

Perhaps it was just my way of saying goodbye to the gap year I took before I actually started taking life a little seriously (do not question). It was all planned. Whether I liked my job that time or not, I was deadset on just going home, don that white uniform, look good in it, and live miserably thinking what could have been had I not chicken out on some job opportunity Communication graduates would swore their life for.

But no, it did happen. Things happen. People take a stopover in Cebu and suddenly everything falls wayward to the side. Suddenly I got the backpacking bug. Suddenly it seemed I lost any form of logic. And momentarily I was lured into some crazy ride. And a whole lotta crazy I did.

Nothing’s gonna knock this boy down.

Out of the blue, I got this message from a classmate I never had any form of communications with whatsoever for ages asking me “what happened to you?”

I was like, “yeah what happened me?” Have I done something wrong? Did I just kill someone with my awesomeness? Have I just gotten more awesome than I already am? Should I go to prison? I’m guilty as charged.

Problem with today’s society is we’re so caught up with the images we see in social media, we couldn’t get past superficiality. If she’s hot, confirm. If not, maybe next time. Admit it, facebook has turned us more superficial than we already are.

As my good friend once said, “We are just a good as our surface value. As the name goes, facebook; face”

I’m hella positive for real. I’m all good.

Contrary to popular belief, I have a friggin’ job people. Yes a friggin’ job… which actually requires me to look dapper as Don Drapper. Weekends though, is another story.

So just save all that worry. Believe me, it’ll do you much good especially on those lines on your forehead. If you’re just gonna express concern with the way you think my life should be going, just… don’t. If I wanted to live your life, then I should have already modeled mine with perfection also known as your life. Because how I see it, if your life is really that perfect, then how on earth did you find time to check on what’s happening in mine.

Who says I’m on a downward spiral? I’m having fun.

And why are you on facebook 24/7?

I’m trying to get a hold on this. And I mean it.

Days after the New Year, I shaved my head, packed my bags, got myself a new job and moved on to another place.

Seven months later, here I am now having a thought vomit while raping the replay button of No Doubt’s “Settle Down” on Vevo. If this were the 90’s, I would have watched it on MTV.  Then again, change had always been inevitable.

Before I know it, I may no longer be the free spirit I once was.

My friend once try to scare me with the thought that someday I’ll wake up and see a fat fuck staring back in the mirror. Yeah, we’ll see about that.  If Gwen, Tony and the gang can preserve youth… so should everyone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWDxZJ4zinw

So when a gap year ends really? Maybe now or I dunno. But seriously, why does fun have to stop?

Get get get in line and settle down. Riiiiiiight.

The Bitch, The Cunt and The Ho

Lenore: Although we sell dick and not cars. We can learn a lot from Diego Rivera. Notice the workers. Clearly their jobs are depressing. They work for so many hours for too little pay. And they have to wear unattractive overalls.

Tanya: Actually Lenore. The workers are meant to be the heroes of this mural.

Lenore: No Tanya. When I look with a modern eye, I see someone like Ray, teaching history year after year to ungrateful kids. Or maybe that’s you Tanya at Wagner and Finch, in a washed out yellow jumpsuit.

-Hung

***

Much is to be said about growing up. First, it sucks. Second, it just plainly sucks: Youth and vigor, gone. Awesomeness, diminished. Sharpness, ugh. Don’t let me start on this one. Dude you are bound to become a thicker plank by the minute. I couldn’t even recall who MTV Asia’s January 1999 Artist of The Month was anymore. I used to be good at this shit. Is it Michael Learns to Rock? Fuck. And that’s coming from me, who is not yet even 21. ish.

If you look in the mirror and you are no longer look like a gangly teen with a humungous head, then you, my friend are an adult.

Probably with no job, or with a crappy job, or even with a job, it’s all the same; Adulthood is one bitch who would screw you over like an extended summer without cash. Yes, could it be any more heartbreaking? Just done with graduation and you’re cash-strapped, Two words: Social. Suicide. But hey if it’s any consolation, it just wasn’t your social life who went dormant like The Stroke’s career. Everyone else’s had too.

And when time comes that you actually rise above that conundrum, adulthood could take in a form of a cunt. Yes, that C word you wouldn’t dare calling a Jersey girl with. And yes, like that boss of yours from that crappy job who think she’s all that. In fact she could be some rude condescending little pig who would treat anyone with intentionally messy hair with disgust. Oops, my story. Besides, I wasn’t there to impress her. Who would?! And mind you, my bedhead was sexy. It just wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I would have made my brother from another mother Kurt Cobain proud.

Simply put, adulthood is one ho you just have to deal with whether you like it or not. It’s what you make out of it that actually matters. Would you rather play the victim card and let yourself be railroaded, or do the reverse cowgirl with some helicopter to that word you dread to hear when used in a serious context (and not the dirty kind)?

These past few weeks, from my new job which 60% of the time I think is a blast, I’ve had to deal with people I would never want to have anything to do with. When they start doing that thing they do, I just remind myself that some people were unloved as kids that they have take out their insecurities and frustrations on anyone who looks and is doing good. Like, dafuq? Seriously? That in itself is quite comforting,

Hey did I just sound like an adult but not quite? It’s getting there. I know I’m a piece of work.

So next time, when you look in the mirror and you see a bit of grey hair and fine lines, that my friend is a sign of growing old. Adulthood, is such a big word that everyone has their personal take on it. It would be a shame to contain it in a certain box.

It’s just like how Love Marie Ongpauco, the eternal crush, groped for words to describe why she likes The Calling’s “Stigmatized”.

“It’s like, you know. Basta”

Wow. It took me a decade to realize that it was a pure genius moment happening before my very eye.

***

Ray: Can we get to the point?

Lenore: Glance to the top. You see that doughy Asian person and that manish woman holding rocks? That – those fat people could be us. If we can change our way of operating, I believe there’s a place for us in the mountains.

Ray: What about these clenched hands?

Lenore: To me that represents fisting Ray.