How Romanticism Ruined Love. A Tragedy.

“It’s a one-night stand but with a romantic twist”.

I woke up to that DM and I couldn’t have been more disoriented and confused. What on earth is she talking about? All I could remember is that my friend recently just moved into splitsville and crowdsourced movie titles she could watch while she is nursing her broken heart.

I suggested ‘Before Sunrise’.

Wait, whaaaat?! There is no way she is referring to the same movie. Porn parody perhaps? NO. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have any. How on earth did the love story of Jesse and Celine, serendipitously meeting inside the train and exploring the glorious Vienna together is now reduced into just a story of how an American guy tried to bed a French girl in a European City? Clearly I must have missed something. So I decided to watch the movie again.

What was it that she saw that I didn’t? Two people meet. They fall in love. Add in a little bit of conflict et voila, you have a Hollywood love story or Star Cinema, if you will. But does it ever really happen to everyone?

Now that this topic has come up, I realize I have yet to meet a prostitute who snatched herself a rich man. If you are one and would love to inspire people with your story, please comment below. But if Julia Roberts and Richard Gere set high expectations in what love should be like, should we then take notes from Sasha Grey and whoever it is that she’s banging in Malice in Lalaland instead? Either way, we fail.

During his prime fuck boy years, a friend of mine admitted that he stayed long enough in a dismal relationship just so he could experience a one year anniversary. Being a Casanova that he was, it was a monumental milestone he couldn’t pass up. And so he did. And in true Hollywood fashion, they also kissed in the rain. In case you’re asking, yes, kissing in the rain is not comfortable. But in that moment though, he claims he felt as if he was Ryan Gosling.

They didn’t end up together.

The actuality that is a hot girl like Georgina ended up marrying some white guy people barely knew is a testament that wild love of Shakespearean kind does not necessarily end in happy endings. Sometimes people end up with the quiet kind, the kind that does not have any drama – the kind of relationship people could only dream about. Pretty much, the kind of love everyone tragically ends up with.

At a recent drinking summit I had with friends a discourse on how a relationship survives distance and/or time took a huge chunk of our drunken discussion. And then it hit me! It can’t be all just sex. It’s something more. It should be more. I recalled what I learned from a fellow traveler I met back then. He’s 6’5”. His girlfriend is 5’4”. And yet they were able to make it work inside the cramped quarters of an airplane lavatory. They were also able to make it work in a deserted beach in Catanduanes on a full moon. All these after more than 6 years together. No it ain’t the sex. It’s something more.

It is the commitment to keep the passion alive; the commitment to stay together despite the bad times; the commitment to make it work even when you have 2 giant Hollywood franchises, a better body with abs and a now more successful career than your wife.


This quest to find some other possible answers and a little curiosity led me and my friend to watch the latest indie romcom to sweep the nation. A few minutes into the movie she slept and I only got frustrated why act 1 was so dragging. Any filmmaker should know that the first ten minutes of a script is the most crucial in keeping the viewers glued in to their screens. But then again, that’s my problem and not yours. When I felt like it was a romanticized stalker movie is also my problem, not yours. But I digress.

Jesse and Celine never had the perfect story. If you have watched the entire trilogy you would know that it took so long for them to get there. Theirs was a story not worthy of a big Hollywood production but that of reality. But then again, how should I know. The thought of tying yourself to someone is suffocating enough. So let’s reconvene when we are middle-aged and jaded. Maybe by that time we would have already figured out how people stay together for better or for worse. Just like in the movies.

-30-

The Truth In Hugs

There is veracity in randomness

When everyone seems to be serving BS for handshakes, it has been my crime to go in for a hug and show the world that we can actually kill people with kindness. It doesn’t necessarily work all the time but hey, at least it melts hearts one cold person at a time. It is so hard to fake a hug and yet so easier to spot a monster with a firm grip.

A few months ago, me and a new found Central European friend were bidding farewells from the rest of rum set, sunset crew of travelers that shared passion for well, you know, and admiring that sun set every primetime by the beach. Hugs were made, promises of visits in each other’s countries were exchanged - the typical goodbye stuff. But out of all the hugs that morning, there was one that stood out. And by unanimous decision made by my friend and I while discussing on the bus, it was from someone we did not expect at all; a very funny bloke from the UK. Who would’ve thought, but looking back, it all made sense! The hilarious one has got to have the warmest heart.

It made me realize that there is so much truth in hugs. And so much more in a particular kind; the airport hug. People saying goodbye to their loved ones, lovers, friends and family in the Departures knowing that they will be gone for a very long time brings out the humanity in everyone. Everyone has a soft spot despite what the world thinks. And not to be considered less is the opposite kind in the spectrum; a husband hugging his newly-arrived wife and twirling her around was such a sight to behold that everyone clapped for them and made everyone’s day.

And in this realization, we begin to appreciate those hugs with finality. Not everyone will stay in touch or keep their promises but at that moment when you were hugging them and the world froze and the time stood still, those tight hugs that lasted forever and yet still felt short, it was all real. It may not be real the now but at that moment in the sweet past it was everything and the truth.

I remember being stuck in the pier for more than 12 hours one time that I befriended fellow happy souls – a couple from Germany and China. We only had to cross a narrow strait and it was everything but rainy and yet the coast guard would not allow anyone to leave the island. So while everyone else was miserable we threw our own shindig and party we did. What started out as standing in line went to lunch went to card games with random people went to karaoke and eventually led to a mini street party. The coast guard finally gave a go signal and suddenly everyone’s mood was up. Some middle-aged Scandinavian took over the microphone and I was able to capture a heart-warming moment of my friends on camera. There is veracity in randomness.

And so my friend and I arrived in the city. He had to catch a flight and I had to get back to reality. We exchanged hugs as we bid farewell and at the back of my head it was funny I was overthinking and pressured to give a decent and genuine hug after that much discussion on the bus. I was genuine by the way and I’m hoping he was too. But then again, if he weren't then I’ve had worse; I shook hands with the devil. They look you in the eye and give you a strong and firm handshake. Scary, believe me. So next time, go in for a hug. Besides, don’t you think a warm hug is so much more comforting than a handshake, a milk shake, a fruit shake or whatever shakes that may try to shook you?