Failure

Had I known that all the sacrifices I made of going to that class would just end up like this; I should have dropped that subject earlier this first semester. But then I didn’t want to give up without a fight so I stayed and endured the grueling task of going to that class every single say of the week armed only by my constant crossing of fingers hoping I wouldn’t be called for boardworks just to save myself from humiliation. And surprise, surprise. All my determination and hard work summed up as this; I failed. I failed my college algebra. I have failed myself.
It may be a case of dyscalculia or the teacher was just the perfect personification of an evil witch that didn’t even have a slight pity on people suck in math that an ending as horrible as this resulted. Honestly, I don’t really know the exact reason why I failed and besides, blame-shifting wouldn’t be much of a help right now. But the thing that really frustrates me was the fact that I wasn’t even absent for a single meeting and was just late once. I had the determination its just that I’m no math wizard. God, I should have gone home during math time. It seems that no matter how hard I tried to pass that subject, I’d still fail.
I did everything I could just to save myself from the possibility of taking math twice. I studied really hard. I even attended tutorial classes for that subject but It seemed like “improvement” was an unfamiliar word. And if there was any It would have been just a ripple in a vast waveless ocean. Math was a foreign language I tried to understand and every time it spoke of numbers and graphs I could only utter back in pidgin. I swear I love math but It just had my love unrequited.
Right before I took my grades I prayed for a miracle to happen but, sad to say, the miracle I prayed for did not come. I didn’t wish for a high grade but, heck, a small part of me hoped that I would at least reach the passing mark. So sad I did not. I just did not.