Wednesday, November 07, 2007

fill in the blank


I wish I were a multiple choice question. At least I'd have an answer. Because next year, I'll be celebrating my 2nd decade of existence on earth and I still don't know what I really want. This thought just keeps on building up like a pile of crap and all i do is bottle it up.
I'm thinking of doing Crystal Meth to find that solace and answer I'm looking for but I know I shouldn't unless I ant to unleash the mentally ill person in me.
I'm taking up nursing all for the wrong reasons. Sometimes, I think of committing suicide but I couldn't break my parents' heart. They've already invested a lot on me. I should have done it years ago when I didn't owe them that much.
I'd do anything to be dj or be on Globe Trekker... a tour guide or just simply write or just bum around.
I flunked pharmacology because of my plain stupidity. I took for granted stuffs I should have given attention to because I thought I was gonna get laid. Heck, I didn't even get a kiss. Lately, I think I'm falling and it sucks! No matter how I try to keep the door shut, love has a habit of coming back.
I wish I'd be given answers to choose from. But no, all I got is a blank and I have no idea on what to put on that void. I don't know. I just don't know.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

you're not the only one.probably 8 out of 10 nursing studs felt @ some point wt u feel. But the difference is you think 2 much. If u used ur gray matter in studies instead of other stuff, u might have passed pharma. Don't just think, DO. Then probably,U won't feel that much miserable since ypu've accomplished something.
Good Luck.

aamesrawkz said...

it's not about the pharma. believe me. I couldn't care less about it.

Anonymous said...

Still.. He's right James..

Think of it this way, whenever you start complaining and getting really frustrated, think of me and what I was before..

Do you wanna be like me James? I sure hell don't wanna be me..

DOn't just think.. DO.. That's what I've learned..

In fact, dont think about it at all..

Pretend you're a kinder garten student.. you never complain coz back then you didn't know that complaining was possible.. all that mattered during those times was to make and do what the teacher wanted.. this should be how you should be thinking now..


If I got assignments, I'll make and pass them..
If I got quizzes, I'll study and pass them..
If I got duties, I'll prepare and get it over with..
Coz at the end of the day, I'll still be me, and I can still do what I want to do..