Hop on the Goodbye Bus

The last sunset of 2015.

As we watched a big ball of fire go down slowly to kiss the sea, we drank our beers and laid witness to the last sunset of the year from a tree house. It was perfect. Not because it was, but because at that moment we knew that it marked the end of a 365 day journey.

So as we worshiped the sun’s final bow, a fellow traveler threw the question everyone hated but secretly loved, “What’s your new year’s resolution?”

The answers ranged from the usual “I don’t have one” to the healthy “I’ll start dieting” and to the tragic “I’ll never fall in love again”. Not sure on the last one though or maybe I was just imagining things, but I’m pretty sure somewhere, someone was thinking it. Secretly. At some point.

It may be a different year, but the issues remain the same.

When it was finally my turn to share, I said, “This is going to be my despidida year”. 

Say goodbyes. Throw a party. Move on.

 I had to go to another beach town for some friends’ farewell a week after New Year’s Eve and it got me thinking; Is there anyone who could fully say that he/she genuinely loves a despidida? Come to think of it, despite the fun it could entail when you factor in the booze, the good vibes and a great party,  reality eventually bites in and the cold hard truth envelopes us. Everything good is about to end.

So when I showed up for my Danish friends’ party later that week, they explicitly said they preferred not to call it as such because it ain’t. It was goodbye and it was sad. And it meant bidding goodbye to the people they’ve grown to love and that place they’ve considered a second home.

Farewells are never fun.

A few days before Valentines, a friend was exhibiting classic signs of a major breakdown in social media. Soon enough I found out that the matters of the heart aren’t going well lately and that she might have to have that difficult conversation with her paramour soon.  Then she went on to details as to what happened that made her draw the last straw. And yet despite the inner conflicts she feels inside, she is trying her hardest to be firm with her decision. Good riddance.

However just a couple of hours ago, on Valentines, another friend headed to splitsville with his long time girlfriend. I know, of all days. Who would even consider calling it quits on February 14? I was, like, this is so déjà vu man. One of my best friends has done it to his girl a couple of years ago. He was branded a dickhead for quite some time.  It’s pretty much the norm in my circle I guess.  He said that he felt that after that big fight, the relationship has ran it’s course. And in a few hours he has to catch a flight back to his home country. As of writing, he’s waiting for his girl to wake up to finally say goodbye... with finality. For now.

But come to think of it, are goodbyes really that sad?

Saying goodbye to clutters and bad vibes bring us peace of mind. Bidding farewell to heartaches lead us to a healthier heart. Giving away old clothes that no longer fit gives us more breathing room and not to mention it helps those that are in need.  Getting rid of all the people who used us, betrayed us and those who never had our backs all along is the most liberating feeling ever  (next to skinny dipping on a full moon).

At some point, we may have to ride that proverbial goodbye bus. We may have to shed some tears and try to peek back through the window. We may even have to question or decisions, ask whoever it is we want to ask why shit has just happened to us but one thing remains the same; we hopped on that bus for a reason. We are where we are supposed to be.  It may hurt to leave some things, some people, some experiences behind but it’ll hurt more should you have opted to stay.

But think of it this way, based on personal experience, goodbye bus rides or bus rides for that matter, always lead to a good sunset. The premise may be depressing knowing that such beauty will have to end and soon it will all be dark, but we all have to remind ourselves that there’s no such thing as permanence.  Enjoy that beauty for what it is, have it etched in our minds, experience and feel the moment. Because the minute it gets dark, that’s when we will appreciate what we had.

Goodbye.