survivor reject.

Yes, I auditioned for the show. And yes, I didn’t get through. And you bet, I’m hoping the Philippine franchise would be one hell of a megaflop. I am officially a sourgraping Survivor reject. It’s all because Philippine TV is all about white, halfbreeds and sobstories. Not even my nose helped. Here’s a trip down emotional memory lane on my recent misadventure.


Ecstatic- Words that best described the feeling were: “Shut up! No way! Get outta here!”. I knew I was the only one who felt that way when I first saw the Survivor teaser on TV. To begin with, I’m a Survivor fan since day 1. And the reason why I took up nursing was because I wanted to go to the States, be an American citizen just so I could join join Survivor. I believe I failed MedSurg because of this. It was God’s way of saying that I should be on that show. Actually, I believed that. The whole audition thing was for formalities sake and that I would end up as one of the castaways anyway.


Merriment- Still convinced that I was going to get through, I assessed the competition. Affirmative. The urban myth was right. It doesn’t take a genius to know that Davao doesn’t really spell the word “pretty” in its population. Just tune in to Big Brother. That’s a given fact. Secretly I was jumping for joy already.


Complete shock and utter disbelief- When the last digit didn’t turn out to be mine, I gave out the best OH My God to be recorded on camera. That was classic TV right there at its finest. I’m hoping they’ll use that as some audition clips. It’ll just attest the fact that I’m perfect for reality TV. They chose sobstory Sal over me? There must’ve been some kind of mix up. He wasn’t even half as good-looking. He didn’t even have personality. He just had a freaking sobstory. I came up to him, shook his hand and said “God I hate you”. On the sidelines, the German mutt was more than beaming with my elimination. I wanted to kill that Nazi right there and then.

My batchmates then told me they expected me to get though. Even I, expected it too. Whatever happened to them perceiving me as a threat? Whatever happened to my “I’m very manipulative, I’m such a good liar, I’m here to use other people” sales pitch that the panel loved so much? The panel even wrote comments on my application form- comments I thought to be golden tickets for final casting shoo in. Whatever happened to the good-looking people pattern? I wasn’t really relying on that aspect but I thought it would help.

I returned on the 2nd day. It was then the producer said “alam niyo kasi, ang hinahanap naming dito, eh yung feel naming na magugustuhan ng mga tao”. Was he implying I wasn’t likable? Having heard that, I kind of expected to be eliminated on the final round yet again. So yes, I got eliminated. He chose a midget mestizo who did nothing but smile and said that he would survive on the Island because he goes to the gym. Note to self: go to the gym. If I want to survive in an Island, I must go to the gym. I should have said I took cherifer as a kid.

And so, I’m hoping Survivor Philippines wouldn’t live up to its hype and that it would look cheap compared to the US version. I wish it’ll be the biggest flop this season. And it’s all because they didn’t pick me."

The Tals effect (meanest middle finger to that fat dude from Survivor)

Tals Diaz:

Hey, actually I think you write pretty well! Do you want to rant about your Survivor experience the best way possible- by writing an article fo 2BU? They're looking for new writers to add to their pool. If it's more "Super" than 2BU, I'll try to stick it in Super. I think it's a cool story, and it may just be your first break in the fulfilling yet not quite financially rewarding path of writing. That's how everyone starts anyway, contributing for 2bu!

I found a soft copy of my Pakistan article online. It's here: http://showbizandstyle.inquirer.net/you/super/view/20080523-138402/This-side-of-PakistanAlso, and this got me in stitches - while searching for a soft copy I found something totally hilarious! It's an article published in the Tehran Times, aka "Iran's Leading Daily" and it's about my article on Pakistan. They practically cut and pasted my whole article and made me a "he"! LOL!!!!!!!http://www.tehrantimes.com/index_View.asp?code=169541

Let me know if you wanna get a shot at writing that Survivor piece. I'm serious - better also if you have pictures. And write how you sound - you'll know you've got it right when you read it and it goes with that voice in your head. Haha did that make sense? ;)

Cheers,Tals

hey i will propose your survivor story in the next planning session and send your work in okay? have a good weekend james =)

Not that I’m bragging that Tals and I are communicating and that she took notice of my writing, it’s just that after my shocker elimination, I want to reaffirm my self worth. And what better way to reaffirm the already standing hard and tall self-worth of mine is to post Tals Diaz’s message- to me. Yes we’re friends. On friendster. And on facebook… and facebook is, like, totally exclusive. Meaning we really are friends. One time, back in 04, she told me about being happy after Colby Donaldson’s ouster in Survivor All Stars. That’s, like, an honest blog from one Survivor fan to another. So anyway, I’m just saying that I’m actually giving Neil Gumban, Survivor’s project manager, the meanest middle finger right now.

Hey there fat dude, never would I kiss your fat ass just to be on that fucking show that’s going to suffer in comparison with the US version anyway. They’re going HD, and you’re just shooting in Thailand? Poor. Ramona Diaz’s niece really knows how to appreciate real talent when she finds one. Sobstories are so passe. That Sobstory guy you chose over me, I wish him more tragedies in life. That Al guy changing people's perception among muslims... uh so showbiz. and Dauel was just short. Dude you chose a pretty boy midget over a handsome guy 5'9''. Seriously? Nevermind Krigi. He's the antichrist.

What I'm saying is, I should have been on the show dude! Should've been. Call me and I'd be more than willing to kiss ass. I'll even be your bestfriend. So just call. You have already have my digits.

Sourgraping

I had my contract signing with Giordano Philippines yesterday. Did I make it sound right? Anyway, I was laughing at the thought. Contract signing. God. It actually happens in real life. Not just on TV. At the back of my head I was imagining as if it were some from GMA. And that there were people from the press and a whole lot of photo ops. Yes, I’m still hoping even if that’s next to impossible. And I’m still the show would be a again, “one hell of a megaflop” because I’m not going to be in it. I’m wishing the whole cast and crew would die. Kidding. But half meant. Shit. I’m such a loser for writing this. But I don’t fucking care. I’ve always been such a loser. But like, that’s something new.