Square Off

Like what I posted on facebook, when Jedyl started talking, i immediatedly rooted for ADDU. haha. Wierd.

Let it be known to the world that, of course, i'm biased to my tita Liz mainly because she's my tita and she's downright cool and she doesn't try too hard to become or sound like an intellectual because she is and always will be the epitome of geekazoid with a hint of street cred. Same goes for her nephew. Duhr.

Let it also be known I abhor that with the exception of myself, I get irritated by stupid people who actually had the means to push their IQs above sea level and opted no to. Shame on you, you guys.

Shame on you.

Same goes to all the fakers out there who obviously try too hard to sound good when they won't, not ever, and not in this lifetime. Read just because you have that American twang or god-knows-what accent you're using doesn't make you brilliant. The more you try too hard to impress, the harder you fall flat on your face.

See it could be defense mechanism you're using but the the fucking truth is, it ain't working.

Simply put, you could fool fifth graders but not this boy. And my tita.

Raindrops keep falling on my head

You have got to be kidding me. It’s not raining hard right now. Because I’m pretty sure the sun shone on that window a minute ago. I mean, why would it rain in the middle of the day? This isn’t a creepy pacific island! And I haven’t gotten any memo that CDO is the new Lost. Or have I? Nah, I went to “Sobriety” and I haven’t had a drink for ages now.

What has happened to the weather people? Don't tell me Polar bears tops the most likely to show up soon list

We will be welcoming the start of the new school year and what better way to celebrate the opening with a couple drinks with some friends. It’ll be crappy shit if it’s going rain then.

So why can’t we be like Norway?... The land of the midnight sun. I don’t think it rains there when sun does overtime 24/7 in the cold Scandinavian skies. I'm wrong here but let's just all think I'm not.

What I’m saying is I hope it won’t rain later. So rain please don’t. Thou shall not dare rain on my parade.

Or could you at least send me an early notice.

I immaculately conceived Gonorrhea.

But before I get any further, I would like to say I did not immaculately conceive anything. Let’s leave me out of this, because I’m so clean it’s almost squeaky.hehe

Kidding aside, someone did.

It would have been neat if both parties got involved of the infamous 5-way hook up that had transpired a long time ago… Maybe not I it’s not your thing, but still - that would’ve given them valid reason why the faucets been leaking down under.

Saying “Hon, I think I got an infection from that sex party we joined at.” than “Bitch, I mean, Hon I tested positive, and I think I got it from you.” would have been way way easier.

I mean whatever happened to those balloons that come in different flavors? If you can’t be good then be at least safe. Dude, put some raincoats on. And girls, who says you can’t buy those. *Cough DOTTED cough. It’s even sexy, in a bondage kind of way.hehe

Believe me; being safe goes a long long way. And unless you’re Mary, you can never immaculately conceive anything. You probably got it from that one night stand you wish you never had.

The drinking problem

About my drinking problem. There’s no such thing. And neither does Rianne. We didn’t fail, right? So there’s nothing to talk about. I made it. She made it too-miraculously. And so did Rob. So there’s nothing.

I know I have been too lax earlier the second semester… got drunk when I passed, got drunk when I failed, got drunk all the time, got drunk for no reason whatsoever. I just did it for Rhum. And boy did he get it done. I enjoyed, got wasted, puked at times, and sported way lot of hangovers. Bottom line is, I enjoyed.

But if I drank hard, I studied harder. I did what a student ought to do; have my brain whacked against stockpile of books. I may have missed some sessions but it was worth it. I couldn’t be more proud of myself.

So about the drinking problem, it’s nonexistent. If it did, I wouldn’t be here at all. It's not like I already texted people that we're having some hard drinking session later. I haven't. Well maybe later.

F.Ü.C.K. You

For Ünlawful Carnal Knowledge, I strongly believe Lily Allen’s Fuck You should be taught to preschool kids.

At least when they grow up they won’t be as fucked up as some people.

They won’t be camwhoring that much. They could and maybe they would… but it won’t be more than the proverbial understandable and allowable 75 frames. 75 frames is already too much, but seeing the same face on the same pose over and over and over with a different background in all gazillion albums is just way too much. You went to this place and that place. Big deal. I went there too… in my dreams.

They won’t be self-absorbed, self-obsessed, self-serving individuals who talk about themselves all day long and think the whole world revolves around them. They won’t be all “me me me me me me”. They won’t go to the bathroom and blog about it. I go there too and usually I take a leak or dump some shit there- not update it on my status.

Am I just being too hard on these breed or should I just turn my email notifications off, but until then, “fuck you fuck you very very much. We hate what you do and we hate your whole crew so please don’t keep in touch”… preschoolers sing with me now.

Fuck You. Ü

Gimme gimme gimme

Let me start by saying Leanne hasn’t fully grasped the concept of Borrowing.
She knows how to borrow and not how to return. She has a penchant for excuses and changing of topics but not in giving back the things to its rightful owner.

Leanne if you’re reading this, get mad, blow up or whatever, I don’t fucking care. Just return those flat circular stuffs known to the rest of the world as DVDs slash the entire four seasons of the OCs. I know you’re a sucker for the show but so am I. It’s already enough that I introduced you to Josh Scwhartz baby and your own twin Juju. The least you could do is return it. I mean, how hard can it be? You go home, you look for it and you give it to me. It’s that fucking simple. Three easy frigging steps.

It just doesn’t make sense at all because when I borrow, I return it after. I hope you do too. So if anything isn’t clear, you want some explanation of some kind, you can… read this text all over again. Blinding flash of the obvious here: I want my stuff back.

Love lots. ;-D

Fingerbang

Somehow, I found the thought of Paris getting fingerbanged in a cab hot.

I also believe that the Dawson’s creek pilot was, quoting Katie’s Joey here, orgasmic. And the entire first season was a series of multiples. It kept on coming and coming if that was sex, my penis would have had a hard time recovering. It was just fucking clever. The Pacey-on-the-verge-of-manhood-and-hooking-up-with-his-teacher story arc was the bomb.

So uh yeah, I watched that teen soap when I was 11. Relived it when I was 19.

Just feeling nostalgic.

Also I hooked up with a teacher. In my dreams. Haha.

But if there’s one thing I don’t want to happen ever again is failing MS. For the 2nd frigging time.

But uh yeah, I failed the midterms. And I don’t have anyone to blame but myself. Believe me; the feeling is nowhere near orgasmic.

Fingerbanging Paris in a cab may seem hot, but fingerbanging my future sucks. Besides, my future’s not Paris. Or her look-a-like. Or even a teacher.

Loser Dogs.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Survivor Gabon is that, aside from the fact that Corrine, Marcus, Charlie and Randy are vile and bitter ugly jury, Corrine is still ugly no matter what. She can put on the thickest makeup and she will still look like hell. And I’m not being superficial.

I won’t even talk about her being-24-and-looking-like-39.

What I would like to point out is that her speech to my Sugar was the most inappropriate thing that could have come out from that mutant of a person. She’s not Ivy League-bred for Chrissakes. Nor does she have natural boobs. And she considers herself educated, please!

This led me to formulate a theory.

Corrine, just like some people I know- people who try to put other people down to make themselves feel better are actually just insecure. And just like Corrine who came in 7th, meaning not 1st (obviously)… then what does that make them? What’s that word again? Uh loser, right? Losers.

thank u (go figure)

Allow me to be gibberish because that’s how things are lately; an incomprehensible syntax error.

I mean, I just don’t get it. Why all these lying, backdooring and sabotaging? Am I that stupid? Do I really look like a moron? I failed MedSurg last year but that doesn’t make me Dumb and Dumber. Heck, they don’t need a Dumberer for God’s sake.

Let me just start by saying I see a rat when I smell one. So that lie, that lame excuse and all, was unnecessary. I would have preferred to have taken the truth straight because aside from the fact that it really didn’t matter, I just don’t like that kind of stuff. That’s just plain pussy. Besides, I didn’t give a flying fuck a about it.

And the sabotage or at least the attempt? I would have raised a finger but that would make the culprit happy. So to all dem haters out there; Thank You! I didn’t know I made such an impact.

This is not a joke. If you find yourself laughing and thinking it couldn’t be you I’m talking about, well THINK AGAIN. I take pride for being such a faker. So allow me to be gibberish because until now, I couldn’t understand why some people had to do it- just like having Ron Howard on Angels and Demons when the The Vinci Code sucked. But that’s another story.

Again, thank you.

Dear Mr. Crusader.

Dear Mr. Crusader

I blog.

That counts as writing, right? So anyway, yeah, blinding flash of the obvious here, I am applying for any vacancies in the school paper. Truth is, I was eyeing the position of a maintenance guy but since you weren’t looking for any, a feature writer would do just fine.

I’m a 3^rd year nursing student who thinks he can write. Yes, I think I can. Don’t burst my bubble. If you think I can’t and you can’t suck that in, you can tell that to my… uh, fans; people who read my writings. There are 2 of them. They’re into pulverizing things, I forgot to tell you.

Did I mention I blog? Right. Well, that’s the only experience I had for the past 4 years. I was an associate editor at our school paper back in high school but I didn’t really know what being an associate editor meant. I just wrote stuffs that our small school cared to publish.

If you’re looking for a reference, I have none. But Tals Diaz and I are friends. On facebook. She’s one of the best writers broadsheet could ever have. Few days ago, she wrote something on my wall, not that mattered, but, yeah, we communicate. Here’s an excerpt of one of her messages: “Hey, actually I think you write pretty well! Do you want to rant about your experience the best way possible- by writing an article fo 2BU? They're looking for new writers to add to their pool. If it's more "Super" than 2BU, I'll try to stick it in Super. I think it's a cool story, and it may just be your first break in the fulfilling yet not quite financially rewarding path of writing. That's how everyone starts anyway, contributing for 2bu!”

I can never be Jehna Paigan, a Gino de la Paz, or a Tals Diaz, but I can be me. I have my own style. I have my own attack when it comes to writing. I’m fun, a little pricky, but fun nonetheless. I think. I am very vulgar as much as I am conservative. Nobody believes that. And I am very opinionated. That, I’d like to believe.

I’m sure I’m going to be a great addition to your bevy of writers. There isn’t just enough representation of stupid people in the publication that it actually starts to feel a little unfair. I mean, where have all the stupid people gone? We’re, like, gazillions. I tell you, it would be great for your image that you hire me. Can you imagine the market you’re going to reach when you get me as one of your wordsmiths? I repeat, we’re gazillions.

So anyway, if you liked the sales pitch, text me. You have my digits. And if it’s going to be a NO, don’t even bother.

I just love to write. Period.

Cheerios,

James